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Best Local TV NewscastREADERS' PICK: These people win year after year in the Naked Pueblo, a record stretching back to ancient Hohokam days, when Michael Goodrich presented his weather forecasts in a loincloth. Come to think of it, he still does, but the camera only hits him from the waist up. (So who's going to complain as long as his gray eminence keeps that polyester blazer about his manly chest and shoulders?) And Patti and Martha--apparently the only Siamese twin anchorwomen separated at birth who've lived to ply the happy-talk trade--bring us a double dose of matronly warmth between each and every frequent commercial break. We're happily praying for the advent of smell-o-vision, so we can inhale the scent of baking bread fresh from Betty Crocker's kitchen whenever Patti and Martha (or is that Martha and Patti?) grace our screens.
READERS' POLL RUNNER-UP--TIE: KOLD-TV, Channel 13/KGUN-TV,
Channel 9. It's significant that this category has resulted
in a tie. We understand the latest Nielsen ratings indicate KGUN-TV
has slipped badly from its once-strong No. 2 position in local
news; and that KOLD-TV, long in the ratings toilet, has
slithered out of the crapper and onto the bathroom floor, where
it's using a perfectly clean face-towel to dry off. But really,
aren't they both about equal? While KOLD gives us well-chiseled
anchormen's faces and perfectly cosmeticized bleach-blonde babes
to ogle, KGUN supplies a soothing newszak drone that says: "Nothing's
really happened. Everything is just fine." Either way, they're
performing a valuable public service in attempting to mesmerize
the masses--or at least a small portion of them--for which we're
thankful. Even if we are generally tuned to reruns of The Simpsons
on KMSB-TV, Channel 11, at 10 p.m.
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