Bad Girls To the Editor, Gee, if it weren't for the forced literary references, I would have thought those letters sent by The University Wives Club were written by Mandy and her girls at Buddy's Truck Stop outside of Barstow ("Senior Trip," Tucson Weekly, June 12). Instead, it looks like Jeff has crossed the Defenders of the Oracle. Boy, with tough broads like these, who needs clever repertoire? It's obvious these chicks are hot for some down-dirty action. Any one of them can ride my Harley anytime they're ready. Just pucker up your lips and say "Popsy." Twice. Yo, babe, I like a woman who cusses! It makes my libido go...like a torpedo...if you get my meaning. You don't exactly sound like the garden-club type, you know what I mean? Certainly not some cranked-up wives of college professors. Got any preference in the halluco-geno department? You're not a speedhead, are you? I got some mets in my pack. In his heart, I know, and Jeff knows, that these are his kind of women. Tough. Reckless. Foul-mouthed. Vile. Wet. Just like him, and proud of it. Hell, they're so dumb, they even signed their own names. We can only imagine what they'd do in bed. Strap those legs around these engines, baby! If only Jeff could still ride his Hog, he'd take them up to Pine Mountain. Where his old gang still meets. He'd introduce his "old ladies," and proclaim his philosophy of "share and share alike." Yo, babes, have you ever heard the expression, "Pulling a Train Full of Angels?" Those crazy guys even constructed a device that lets cripples join in. Jeff could be a hero to the other gang members, if only he could bring himself to date these hot broads. --Alan Folsom To the Editor, Regarding recent letters to the editor ("Senior Trip," Tucson Weekly, June 12): Poor Jeff Smith! What a tirade of nasty names from the pro-university professor elderly group! Even blaming Jeff's anger on a disability! My goodness! That shows a whole lot of understanding about disabilities. I mean, it's not like there aren't a whole lot of things going on in this world to produce anger. The last time I heard anyone equate lack of sexual prowess with repressed anger was when Freud taught Psych 101. If anything shows "age," that sure does. Frankly, I think Jeff is one of the finest writers in the state and definitely the best in Tucson. Smith must have hit a raw nerve with that column about all those teachers retiring on their own pasture--oh, well. I sure hope you don't stop writing or your editor censors your column into middle-class oblivion. From the caliber of the letters to the editor, I'd say we have enough of that already. And for all you retired professors who are looking for meaningful things to do, you might want to pay a visit to some of us old folks who are looking forward to living in public housing for the elderly, if we reach retirement. At least we'll have a home when we hit 65, huh? --Elaine Geryan Grave Matter To the Editor, Suggested epitaph for Jeff Smith. When he is dead, let it be said: "His sins were scarlet, but his copy was read." --Frank M. Hillary Cowabunga To the Editor, Regarding Jeff Smith's "Meaty Memories" (Tucson Weekly, June 5): You're right Jeff. People don't eat normal food anymore. An recent article in The Arizona Daily Star announced: "Mad cow fear brings near-ban on animal parts in stock feed." The FDA proposed "that no cows, sheep or goats eat feed made from ground cows, sheep, goats, deer, elk or mink," which makes sense. Are cows supposed to eat their cousins? The FDA's final rule "extended the ban to using any mammalian protein except pure pork or horses." What have the animals you use as food for yourself been eating? Star writer Bonnie Henry also recently reported that a man propagated a robbery by "craftily pretending the zucchini under his jacket was a gun." Do you still say it takes eating meat to be a real man? OK, I rose to the bait. I realize your article was written solely to attract outraged attention to the poor quality and dangerous aspects of our meat-based food supply. It was a good ruse to allow the opportunity for education. How about an article detailing the production of our meat supply? Hint--if you focus on small, local producers, you may be pleasantly surprised. However, if you report the methods used by mass producers, you will expose meat and earth contamination by the overuse of pesticides, herbicides, antibiotics, growth hormones, disposal practices, and more. --George Milan Media Mix-Up To the Editor, Apropos the Media Mix panegyric for Alan Harrington (Tucson Weekly, June 5), I'd like to correct a significant error embodied in the phrase, "exhumed in his nine works of fiction." Indeed he published four or five novels, most significantly the classic satire Revelations of Dr. Modesto, but his principle arena was documentary, the great examples being The Immortalist and his best book, the fabulist masterpiece Psychopaths. (I purchased the Tucson Public Library's last copy of that about 10 years ago from a "Friends" of the Library booksale for 30 cents). The Tucson Public Library has a single copy of his eighth book, Love and Evil, From a Probation Officer's Casebook, written with Dan Sakall, a Tucson employee of the '60s and '70s. To say he'll be missed is redundant; our culture has been poorer for his "absence" for years. --David Corker Death Be Not Proud To the Editor, Thanks for printing Jeff Smith's article "Deadly Intentions" (Tucson Weekly, June 19). Yes, indeed, we are all nuts when we participate in executions, when we kill a human being. We went nuts again recently when we executed William Woratzeck here in Arizona. Many of us here in Tucson and around the state are organizing to stop this insanity. We are building a statewide coalition of individuals and organizations who do not like killing and want to stop executions. The Coalition of Arizonans to Abolish the Death Penalty was born of SOLPAE (Sanctity of Life: People Against Executions). Anyone wanting to participate in our efforts should call 325-6240 and get involved. --Katherine Norgard We Want Letters! Thrilled by our brilliant insights? Sick of our mean-spirited attacks? Need to make something perfectly clear? Write: tucsonweekly@tucsonweekly.com

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