By John McCormack
TAKE HEART: For those of you still feeling blue about the
departure of Studs from late-nite television over half
a decade ago: your malaise has finally registered with top network
brass. Change of Heart brings shameless voyeurism back
to the 11 o'clock time slot. This variation on The Dating
Game sends both halves of a restless and predictably edgy
couple (I mean, they've been going out six months!) on dates,
ostensibly to find out if they really belong together. They don't,
of course, ever really belong together; but for the sake of, what,
humiliation let's say, each partner describes his or her respective
date making pained efforts to drive his or her current sex partner
wild with jealousy. Said date is introduced and brought forth
for inspection to much whooping it up by the audience, not to
mention an indiscriminate use of the "raising-the-roof"
gesture. The jealous partner eyes the interloper, often resorting
to sniping comments about his or her physical appearance, with
a special mean-spirited focus on hair.
It is ridiculous, usually. Lanky host Chris Jagger serviceably,
if clumsily, navigates his guests through interminable rounds
of "talking to the hand," pejorative salvos, awkward
comebacks, and general audience uproar, as the minutia of each
date is evinced with embarrassing candor.
The ever-mounting suspense as to whether the couple will weakly
choose to stay together or boldly strike out in search of new
and improbable sexual territory reaches its, er, climax when each
partner holds up a placard stating his or her intent to "Stay
Together" (smiley face) or have a "Change of Heart"
(frowny face).
The ultimate Heart experience is a show in which someone
is left teetering precariously on the edge of public shame by
choosing to Stay Together when the other has chosen a Change of
Heart. Or, and this is very rare, when a particularly romantic
outing leads to the lusty twentysomethings "getting biz-zay!"
The show's producers take care to state that intercourse is neither
encouraged nor endorsed, however. Spoil sports.
Typical denouement is a couple breaking out into jittery laughter
after they choose to Stay Together, foreheads bumping as they
awkwardly kiss and make-up in front of the live studio audience.
This usually entails apologizing effusively for calling the other
"fatass" on national television. Then for some reason
everyone stands up and starts hugging. Hip Swedish decor (think
Ikea) and porny theme music round out this mesmerizing train wreck
of a television show.
(Note: for certain acutely embarrassing moments, make sure you
have a pillow or for God's sake something with which to hide your
face.) Change of Heart airs at 11 p.m. weeknights on Fox,
Channel 11.
GAY GUMSHOE: Paul Turner is a Chicago police detective
on the case of a male model who, in a grim manner of speaking,
made his mark at the bottom of a Windy City skyscraper. Supposedly,
he fell. But Turner, a gay cop who's seen it all, suspects there
may be more to the story in Drop Dead, the fifth
novel in the Paul Turner series by Mark Richard Zubro.
Zubro won a Lambda Award in 1989 for his Tom Mason mystery series,
which features a gay high-school teacher. It was a bold move for
an author who is, himself, an openly gay high-school teacher in
suburban Illinois--it's a topic he discussed with humor and candor
in his first Tucson appearance at Clues Unlimited in 1996.
"He's a very good speaker," says Clues co-owner Christine
Acevedo. "And I think he's very brave."
Asked if the novels were politically charged, Acevedo offers
instead, "They definitely teach by example. The relationships
in the novels are appealing, loving relationships. The first time
I read one of his books, I thought, 'If only I could find a relationship
like that!' " (She's referring to the Tom Mason series.)
Zubro's style is light and humorous, and his works have won consistent
praise for their "fluid pace and flawless structure."
The signing will be an informal affair, with ample opportunity
to chat with the author. "There are easy chairs and a coffee
table where they can have their book signed, and then sit and
talk," Acevedo says.
Zubro signs Drop Dead from 4 to
6 p.m. Wednesday, June 23, at Clues Unlimited, 123 S. Eastbourne,
in the Broadway Village shopping center. Call 326-8533
for information.
--Mari Wadsworth
FINE PRINT: Other book discussions this week include William
J. La Due's The Chair of Saint Peter: A History of the Papacy,
at 7 p.m. Thursday, June 17, at the Barnes and Noble on East Broadway
(745-9822); and Jerry Colangelo's insights on How
You Play the Game, at
7 p.m. Thursday, June 17, at the Foothills Mall Barnes and Noble
(742-6621).
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