By Tom Danehy
AH, IT'S SUMMER--a time for lowering. Here in Southern
Arizona, summer usually means lowered enthusiasm (as in, "It's
too hot; I'll do it tomorrow"); lowered expectations ("I
don't care if everyone says that movie sucks; it's cool in there");
and lowered IQs ("Hey, let's go spend a couple weeks in California!").
Let's stop lowering, folks! We've only got 18 months until the
New Millennium (it starts with 2001, remember), and only six months
until all the idiots celebrate that 2000 thing. To each his own
in preparing for the End Days. On my own path to cerebral improvement,
I'm tirelessly collecting data for an offering to the self-help
genre, Zen and the Art of Being A Couch Potato--alternately
entitled, Feng Sofa. Since it's unlikely this tome will
ever be published, I offer a few of the secrets to enlightenment
right here, free of charge.
BOOK LOOK: Tempest Over Teapot Dome: The Story of Albert
B. Fall by David H. Stratton (Univ. of Oklahoma
Press, $29.95).
Ah, but wasn't the West populated by scamps and scoundrels! Not
all wore guns; some wore suits and ties. Among the latter group
was Albert Fall, who went out West to seek his fortune, and darned
if he didn't find it (and lose it) several times over. He was
a prospector, a lawyer and a political crony par excellence.
A long-time associate of "Colonel Bill" Greene, the
self-named "Copper King of Cananea," Fall was one of
New Mexico's first two U.S. senators. He quickly attached himself
to rising-star Senator Warren G. Harding from Ohio. When Harding
became president, Fall was named Secretary of the Interior.
From that seat of power, he let some oil tycoons drill on government
land, including the Teapot Dome field in Wyoming. He also pocketed
$400,000 from the illegal deal. He went to prison and Teapot Dome
was the biggest scandal of the 20th century, until supplanted
by Watergate and later Iran/Contra.
The ironic thing is that he went to prison for doing something
that was basically a big part of Ronald Reagan's campaign platform
some 60 years later.
This is a big, rambling book, rich in the history of a time and
place when life was hard, ethics were slippery, and a fortune
was right there for a man to grab.
PAPER TIGER: Ship of Gold In The Deep Blue Sea,
by Gary Kinder (Random House, $14). Don't let the title scare
you away. Kinder says it took him 10 years to write the book.
Apparently, he then took an extra 35 seconds to come up with the
title.
This is a marvelous book, a two-part tale of the tragedy and
triumph of human spirit and inventive genius.
In 1857 the Central America, a side-wheel steamship carrying
hundreds of people from the Gold Rush in San Francisco back to
New York, went down in a vicious hurricane off the coast of South
Carolina. Along with the ship went tons of gold being brought
back to New York by the exhausted (and exhilarated) miners, and
in many cases, their wives and girlfriends.
The first part of the book chronicles the ship's sinking and
the incredibly heroic efforts by the captain, crew and passengers
to keep it afloat over a three-day period. There were some survivors,
but most on board accompanied the ship to its grave 10,000 feet
below the surface.
Jump ahead to 1986, when young, intrepid sailor/inventor Tommy
Thompson latches onto the idea of salvaging the ship, despite
the fact that no one is sure where it sank; and even if it is
found, it will certainly have settled to a depth three to four
times greater than anything ever before salvaged.
This is a wonderful book with a surprise ending which leaves
the reader almost cheering.
TV PLEA: Please watch Buffy, The Vampire Slayer
on the WB network. I'll give you a dollar. This is an absolute
howl: the X-Files with a sense of humor. The writing is
crisp, the acting superb, and the subject matter really creepy.
Don't be surprised if it's nominated for an Emmy next week.
REEL LIFE: Waking Ned Divine. You've got to see
this, despite the difficulty you may encounter in acclimating
to a heavy Irish brogue. It's a gem of a movie. And while I realize
that we're supposed to be sensitive about these things, it also
has two of the funniest deaths in the history of cinema. Watch
it and see if you don't agree.
Alternate choice: Pi. This indie classic is unlike anything
you've ever seen before (or may ever want to see again). It's
a dizzying mix of higher math, computer glitches, the Talmud,
the Bible and evil Big Business, all thrown together to make a
thick soup of paranoia.
(One suggestion: Don't expect your spouse to sit through this.
No matter how brilliant she is, experience has shown her math-related
calculation will likely be, "You paid $3.50 to rent this?!")
FOR THE RECORD (PLAYER, THAT IS): The Hush, by Texas.
Stay with me here. Texas is a Scottish band that sounds like it's
from Detroit. The Brits just love their soul music. (Did you know
that the largest-selling album of all time in England is Stars,
by Simply Red?) Well, believe it. This Glaswegian quartet delivers
in a big way with killer hooks and soaring vocals by frontwoman
Sharleen Spiteri. Good stuff.
Now get out there and raze your consciousness!
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