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 Barb Wire. In this futuristic remake of Casa Blanca,
Pamela Anderson Lee, that marvel of modern science and technology,
plays a leather-clad version of Rick, the character Bogart made
famous in the original. Between making almost as many costume
changes as Jane Fonda in Barbarella, the heavily armed
Barb strikes a blow for freedom and tightly-laced corsets as she
fights the evil fascist government that has taken over America.
You go, girl! Pamela Lee's brilliant performance is only enhanced
by the knowledge that she had a tumor the size of an orange removed
from an ovary during shooting. Nice dairy.
The Craft. Three sexy but unpopular girls form a coven
and begin casting spells on their classmates in this supernatural
update of the classic teen formula movie. The first half is generally
above par for this genre and touches on some of the strange obsessiveness
of teen life that other movies of this kind often skip. A zippy
script and above-decent acting, especially by Fairuza Balk, make
The Craft engaging initially; but by the end, any sort
of nuance in the plot has been boiled down to good vs. evil. One
thing this movie can teach us: Witches all wear flowing, Stevie
Nicks clothes and cake on the eyeliner.
THE Great White Hype. A movie that borrows half it's stylistic
impulse from Blaxploitation flicks, half from spaghetti westerns--it
will leave you nostalgic for both and unsatisfied with the combo.
Samuel Jackson plays an unscrupulous boxing promoter who pits
a white underdog against the black heavy weight champ in order
to stir up a racist frenzy of promotion. That's the whole plot--the
rest is padding, and there's plenty of it. It's mildly funny,
slightly thoughtful, sort of interesting, and wholly mediocre.
Jackson does get to wear some super-cool costumes though.
James And The Giant Peach. Roald Dahl's children's classic
comes to life in this movie through the Disney magic of stop-motion
animation. The overgrown bugs are cute, young James is darling
and the animation is absolutely charming; still, if you're over
12, plan to be a little bored, especially during the singing part.
Those to the left of the political spectrum may enjoy the secret
embedded Marxist mythology being espoused here--James and the
bugs seize the fruits of their labor (the peach!) from the evil,
property owning aunts and take it across the ocean to share with
the masses. Apparently Disney has been brainwashing our young
for years, perhaps creating the Cold War through the seemingly
"cute" shenanigans of little dancing bugs and mice.
Probably with the cooperation of the phone company.
Last Supper. It wouldn't be fair to blame all of this dog
of a movie's failures on Annabeth Gish, but it isn't a bad place
to start. Last Supper opens as a promising attempt at social
satire as a group of five liberal arts graduate students try to
reason their way through, literally, getting away with murder.
They start with Zach, a red-blooded, white trash patriot who soundly
thrashes them for not being willing to stand up for their beliefs.
"You mean we're not willing to die for our beliefs,"
says Gish derisively. "No," says Zach. "Dyin's
easy. A cause you're willing to kill for, now that's somethin'."
From this early success the movie spirals into stupidity from
an overdose of melodrama: Inviting extremists to Sunday dinner
for death by debate really should seem like a lot more fun. It
may not stimulate much discussion on social consciousness, but
it will undoubtedly alter your opinion of tomatoes.
Mulholland Falls. The trailer for this one looks pretty
good, but the movie is another story. For some unknown reason,
an all-star cast including Nick Nolte, Melanie Griffith and Chazz
Palminteri has been matched up with an insufferable and completely
banal script. Nolte plays a cop hunting L.A. bad guys in this
China Town-style story; he and all the other characters
repeat themselves constantly, so don't worry about the plot getting
too intricate. As if the predictable plot weren't enough, the
character development in this movie barely dips above comic book
level. Stay home and eat a chocolate bunny.
THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS. Janeane Garofalo stars as
Dr. Abby Barnes, a veterinarian with the title call-in radio show
for distraught pet owners. The plot thickens when, amidst the
daily grind of callers with finicky basset hounds and rashes from
three-hour cat tongue baths, a mysterious photographer with a
European accent has a crisis with a Great Dane on roller skates.
When the grateful caller, Brian (Ben Chaplin), talks Abby into
meeting him in person, she inexplicably describes herself as her
supermodel neighbor, played to dippy perfection by Uma Thurman.
It's an insipid premise--smart-but-unattractive woman chooses
beautiful-but-dumb proxy to win the man of her dreams. But from
start to finish the movie is so damn cute--cute animals, cute
actors, cute lines--you might not even notice. Not recommended
for those afraid to laugh out loud in public.
Twister. After a tornado kills Helen Hunt's father, she
becomes obsessed with revenge in this incredibly stupid Michael
Crichton thriller. Every plot point is explained at least three
times in dialogue before being realized in action, and the actors,
especially Bill Paxton, appear to be truly embarrassed by the
script. In an interesting twist, while the good guys in this movie
are weathermen, the bad guys are also weathermen--Bad Weathermen,
in black vans. Nevertheless, there is something to be said for
watching cows, trucks and cars sailing through barns.
SPECIAL SCREENINGS
AIVF Salon. An organizational meeting for the Tucson chapter
of the Association for Independent Video and Filmmakers will be
Saturday, May 18, at the Screening Room, 127 E. Congress St. Independent
media makers of all levels are welcome to attend. The group plans
to develop a directory of local producers, organize screenings,
and engage in arts advocacy. It's also a good place to network
and find help for your next project. The meeting starts at 1:30
p.m.
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