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 ANTZ. Remember Woody Allen? Well, he's back--in ant form!
Woody plays himself, only with more chitin, in this perverted
children's story about an ant who is emotionally unable to support
his colony's collective consciousness. He accidentally becomes
a war hero, kidnaps a princess, leads a Marxist revolution, and
has a fulfilling relationship with his wife's adopted daughter.
Well, three out of those four, anyway. I'm not really sure at
what audience this movie is aimed, since its "G" rating
and the fact that it's animated seems to direct it toward kids;
but Allen, as Z the Ant, makes comments like "Just for that
I'm no longer including you in my wild, erotic fantasies,"
which I'm not sure is kid stuff. (I haven't been a kid for a while
so I could be off-base here). Still, this is the most Woody Allen-like
Woody Allen film since Manhattan, so maybe it's for that
next generation of self-obsessed neurotic pre-schoolers who've
been looking for a voice for their generation. Still, there's
something a bit unnerving about this project--do we want Woody
Allen attracting underage fans? --DiGiovanna
APT PUPIL. If ever we needed proof that no one truly knows
how to beat an idea into the ground until it's mashed, bloody
and dead like Stephen King, proof has arrived. The master of overstatement
is back, this time with a lovable-Nazi-in-the-suburbs story. How
bad is the Nazi? He's so bad he puts kitty cats in the oven. King,
who wrote the novella on which the movie is based, should not
bear the blame for this alone; screenwriter Brandon Boyce and
director Bryan Singer (of The Usual Suspects fame) have
truly wasted their energies on this gorgeously shot, utterly boring
film. Ian McKellen makes a go of it as an aged Nazi officer living
quietly in an American suburb, but this role is simply too silly
for his talents. Teen heart throb Brad Renfro is eerily convincing
as the self-satisfied high-school senior who is at first fascinated
and ultimately corrupted by the older man, though he's so unlikable
it's hard to care. The first hour of this movie consists of Renfro
and McKellen sitting around talking about war crimes--a sort of
My Dinner With A Nazi. Then the long knives and sledgehammers
come out...but it's too late, much too late. --Richter
BELLY. In response to the assertion that Black English
is drifting away from standard English, Linguist John McWhorter
has recently tried to make the case that Black English is a fairly
stable dialect that is about as close to Standard English today
as it was 30, 50 or 100 years ago. Perhaps he could get a job
subtitling Belly, a story of inter-state, international,
inter-gang rivalries which is, at times, as visually engaging
as it is hard to understand. This "gangsta" film is
so artfully shot that you'll forget how hard the convoluted plot
is to follow. It's first 45 minutes are dedicated to visual excess,
with director Hype Williams employing a delicious palate of alternating
monotone scenes. One of the most notable segments cuts back and
forth between a blue-tinted boudoir and an all-in-yellow suburban
living room to smashing effect. Oddly, all the half-toned shots,
beautiful compositions and Fritz-Lang-on-Ecstasy lighting vanish
about half-way through, and suddenly the story starts to make
sense. Maybe it's an either-or thing, but both halves of the film
work, first as psychedelic-noir eye-candy, then as a reasonably
engaging story of gangsters searching for redemption. Starring
Nas (who co-write the script with video director Hype Williams)
as Sincere, and DMX as his gangsta pal Tommy. --DiGiovanna
BELOVED. A Hollywood film with a female protagonist is
rare enough, so a thought-provoking Disney movie with a black
woman as the central character is certainly even more unexpected.
Based on the Toni Morrison novel and directed by Jonathan Demme
(The Silence of the Lambs, Something Wild), Beloved
tells the story of Sethe (Oprah Winfrey), a former slave confronted
with the ghost of her dead child. Narrative devices such as flashbacks
and dream sequences help to maintain interest during the three-hour
running time, but the film is most notable, and enjoyable, for
the use of stylistic devices to reflect the psychology of its
characters. The set of the house, where Sethe lives with her daughter
Denver (Kimberly Elise) and, at times, with Paul D (Danny Glover)
and Beloved (Thandie Newton), is claustrophobic and worn, and
provides an important touchstone for this barely functioning family.
The variety of filmstocks as well as camera and soundtrack manipulations
also help convey the disjointed and uneasy existence of the characters.
Winfrey is distracting at times because, well, she's Oprah; but
Elise gives an excellent performance as her lonely dependent.--Higgins
HOLY MAN. Eddie Murphy must be blessed, because there's
no other way to explain his recurring leading roles. This is the
Oh God sequel you never expected nor wanted, with Murphy
getting in touch with his spiritual side as G, a pilgrim who befriends
infomercial director Ricky (Jeff Goldblum) and uses his vast powers
to aid Ricky's faltering career and love life. The really tough
choices, of course, Ricky must make for himself--such as whether
to endure a relationship with fashion-challenged Kate (Kelly Preston)
or set up situations to be naked with G. I don't want to give
away the ending, so let's just say that most major religious groups
won't be offended. --Higgins
A MERRY WAR. I say, if you must get out of your flat because
there's nothing on the telly, perhaps you'd have a mind to pop
out and watch something so very English as this slow-moving film.
Sadly, itís a bit of a let down, entertainment-wise. Richard
Grant plays a poet who writes ad copy, but quits to lead a life
of starvation and artistic integrity. Helena Bonham Carter plays
the woman who has no rational reason for putting up with his behaviour
as he descends into drunken excess and poverty. Like all extremely
English films, this one is set in the past, tries for a dry wit,
and has an odd chastity about even its erotic scenes. If you like
PBS, but would rather pay $7 to watch it, do go to A Merry
War.--DiGiovanna
NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY. Try "night at the torture chamber."
First they tried to break me with that damn Haddaway song, then
it was the breast montage. But I was strong. I lasted through
the way-dumbed-down Swingers plot, lame references to the
over-referenced '70s, overused jokes, and the ass montage.
Other viewers must be similarly tenacious, because Night has
lasted longer in the theaters than It's Pat! (Granted,
one day at the box office isn't tough to beat.) Short Doug (Chris
Kattan) and tall Steve (Will Ferrell) are the clubbing brothers
from Saturday Night Live who (this is the clever part)
don't realize how annoying they are. They have a dream and...yawn...achieve
it by the film's end. And they get laid (maybe that's the
clever part). We're graced with brief appearances by Loni Anderson
and Richard Grieco, but they were much too little, too late. What
finally broke me was the running time--almost two hours. It's
really all about endurance.--Higgins
ONE TRUE THING. Poor Rene Zewiggler--she perpetually looks
like she's about to cry. At least that probably made her a shoo-in
for this weepie about how a family handles their dying mother/wife
(Meryl Streep). Daughter Ellen (Zewiggler) has a crush on her
father (William Hurt and runaway goatee), and is therefore successfully
manipulated into postponing her promising writing career to play
caretaker. In the process she discovers how devalued her mom has
been as a homemaker and that her dad would not be a fun date.
While it's nice to see a film that focuses on a mother-daughter
relationship, it seems a bit cruel to show the underdeveloped
characters wading through the contrived scenes with the assistance
of alcohol without offering any to the audience. Most recent Hollywood
films about women over 40 are just plain boring, though in this
case it probably has a lot to do with the insane amount of Bette
Midler music on the soundtrack. For you Beverly Hills, 90210
fans out there, you'll be glad to see that Mr. Walsh (James Eckhouse)
has expanded his range to include a supporting role as a lawyer.--Higgins
PRACTICAL MAGIC. Survey a bunch of witches about what they
want most, and nine out of 10 will tell you good, old-fashioned
love. The other 10 percent will insist that their true desire
is a soundtrack that masquerades as a script. Sally (Sandra Bullock)
and Gillian (Nicole Kidman) are sisters (but, really, aren't we
all?) who are witchy and cursed--if they fall in love, their men
will die. Sally resolves to beat it with normality (husband, kids,
etc.), while Gillian accepts it and pursues a good time. This,
of course, means that Gillian must be punished, so her boyfriend
returns from the dead to torture her. Sally exorcises him, then
falls in love with a cop (Aidan Quinn) and makes out. The more
interesting story--the one of their aunts (Stockard Channing and
Diane Wiest)--is unfortunately of lesser importance. But at least
Wiest gets to utter the line, "There's a little witch in
all of us." Gals, this is empowering stuff. --Higgins
THE SIEGE. The American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee
(ADC) has expressed grave fears about the potential effects of
this film, which they believe could increase hatred and suspicion
towards members of the Muslim and American-Arab communities. The
Siege tells the story of a wave of terrorist bombings that
occur in New York City. In response, the U.S. government declares
martial law and imprisons all Arab men (which here seems
to mean anyone of Persian, Middle Eastern or North African descent)
between the ages of 14 and 30. The film does attempt to address
the issue of anti-Arab and anti-Muslim prejudice in the United
States; however, in its broad Hollywood way, it employs stereotypes,
simplifications and sometimes offensive misrepresentations of
Islam. Perhaps most egregious are the images of the terrorists
(who are only referred to as "Muslims" and "Arabs,"
as though those terms could constitute a cohesive identity or
a terrorist organization) performing ritual hand washing prior
to their attacks: the film implies that this is something specifically
done in preparation for acts of violence, when in fact this is
a daily ritual that Muslims engage in prior to prayer. When the
army places all of Brooklyn's young males of Arab descent in a
camp, the scene shows an unrealistically homogenous crowd of people,
all with the same pigmentation and clothing. The effort to mute
this effect by casting Tony Shalhoub as one of the FBI agents
in charge of the investigation is itself muted by having him play
sidekick and second-fiddle to leading man Denzel Washington. Still,
interesting issues are raised here: in several scenes, disembodied
voices point out that this kind of government action would not
be tolerated against Jewish or Black Americans; the army is definitely
portrayed as villainous in their treatment of the Arabic prisoners;
and there are (fairly awkward) assurances that "most"
Arabs are decent, law-abiding citizens. The very fact that the
film begins to question the prejudices against Arabs and Muslims
shows a radical leap forward in Hollywood thinking. In spite of
the very reasonable reservations of the ADC, the history of American
cinema shows that clumsy first steps like The Siege are
often signs of real progress.--DiGiovanna
SOLDIER. Marx once said that the proletariat must "safeguard
itself against its own deputies and officials, by declaring them
all, without exception, subject to recall at any moment."
Wow, he could have written the script for Soldier, wherein
a team of super-soldiers are replaced by newer, even superer soldiers,
who go on an evil killing spree (as opposed to the good killing
sprees of the original super-soldiers). See, while the original
super-soldiers are nearly soulless automatons trained from birth
only to blow things up and destroy human life, the newer, superer-soldiers
are almost entirely soulless automatons, trained from before
birth only to blow things up and destroy human life. Kurt Russell
plays one of the original super-soldiers, who, while speaking
only 62 words during the course of the film (Entertainment
Weekly counted 69 words, but I stand by my figures), shows
himself to be nearly almost human-like in defending some poor
interstellar settlers against the superer-soldiers. The superer-soldiers,
see, are all bald, whereas the super-soldiers have some hair.
So they're, like, our friends. Caution: This film contains some
scenes of hugging. --DiGiovanna
TOUCH OF EVIL. Thirty years after its original release,
this version of Orson Welles' film is re-edited according to changes
the director requested after viewing the studio cut that significantly
altered his vision. A beautifully shot film noir, the story follows
the investigation of a car bombing in a small town on the Mexican
border. Newlyweds Mike (Charlton Heston) and Susan Vargas (Janet
Leigh) witness the explosion during their honeymoon, so Mike joins
a nasty American police chief, Hank Quinlan (Orson Welles), in
the investigation. In true noir style, Welles creates a claustrophobic
world with a slippery definition of morality, where the cops are
sometimes as corrupt as the criminals. Though the murder is solved
by the end of the film, the most compelling question, why Heston
is playing a Mexican, remains unanswered.
--Higgins
VAMPIRES. Please benefit from my suffering and don't waste
two hours of your life hoping that director John Carpenter's (Halloween,
Escape from New York) latest effort will be bad-good rather
than bad-offensive. James Woods, showing his wood in particularly
tight jeans, and Daniel Baldwin, struggling to stay awake, play
vampire slayers who pursue the father of all vampires. Along the
way they pick up Sheryl Lee so that Baldwin can take off her clothes,
tie her up, call her a bitch, and eventually fall in love, and
a priest, so Woods can talk about his penis. Interesting ideas,
such as the mixing of the horror genre with the western and viewing
vampirism as a virus, surface, but only for about 30 seconds.
After that, it's back to Lee's rope burns. If you hate women,
this film could be for you, but I still think you'll be tripped
up by the bad dialogue, clichéd revenge plot, and hokey
music. Oh, and there's some homophobic stuff thrown in for extra
flavor. --Higgins
WHAT DREAMS MAY COME. Hamlet fretted over what dreams may
come when we shuffle off this mortal coil, but Robin Williams
doesn't have to worry, because he's already been to heaven. And
Annabella Sciorra has been to hell. This well-intentioned but
stupid mutation of the Orpheus story (based on the novel by Richard
Matheson) concerns a very happy couple who like each other a lot.
In fact, Christy and Annie Nielsen (Williams and Sciorra) are
soulmates. They have it all: an upscale life, a nanny, expensive
objects, until their kids die in a car crash, and then Christy
dies in one, too. Eventually he ends up in heaven, and his wife
ends up in hell--Max Von Sydow plays the shrink-turned-ferryman
who navigates between the two. The special effects are pretty
darn nifty here, and as a welcome relief, they don't involve any
shooting or blowing up. But the freshman-level philosophy ("You
know who you are because you think you do!" ) and tons of
painful psychoblather shove this movie into the fiery depths of
banality. There is one good part: We get to hear Robin Williams
called "Christy" for two hours, evoking images of a
freshly scrubbed teenage girl in a tennis skirt. --Richter
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