At Least There's One UA Football Team That's Nearly Unstoppable
By Tom Danehy
I WENT TO a football game at the University of Arizona
last week. It was a one-sided affair, lots of passing by one team,
not a whole lotta pass defense by the other. One team was clearly
superior.
No, I'm not talking about the UA-Washington game, although I
did go to that one, too. However, instead of sitting in the pressure
cooker that is the press box, I thought I'd sit out among the
real folk, maybe get a taste of the autumn football atmosphere.
By halftime, I found myself standing in the middle of Sixth Street,
having been pushed along like a piece of driftwood in the Amazon.
I tried to go back in, but they told me they had a no-return
policy. They snarled that I should have stayed in the press box,
where everyone is locked in, hermetically sealed, until either
the game clock or the free burritos run out. Believe me, three
things which should never be considered in combination are sportswriters,
burritos and "hermetically sealed."
I told the guy that I just had to get back in there. He
said, "Why, did you forget your booze?"
I explained to him that I don't drink. He said, "Then why
in the world would you want to go back in there?"
Good point.
Anyway, the game to which I was initially referring was the UA
Flag Football Intramural championship game between the four-time
defending champions, The Tribe, and Sigma Alpha Epsilon, a fraternity
team.
The game was played on a Monday night at Drachman Field, adjacent
to the UA track stadium. The official attendance was eight, falling
just short of the number of people left in Arizona Stadium at
the end of the Washington debacle. Actually, it was either eight
or nine, depending on whether that wino lying near the end zone
was merely asleep or had gone on to that great Boone's Farm in
the Sky.
Those in attendance were one guy's mom, the head of the intramurals,
me, my son Alexander, the wino (who looked a lot like Alan Lang),
somebody's girlfriend, and two poor frat pledge dorks who were
in suit and tie (proving that, yes, there is something
more pathetic than two Mormon guys riding bikes).
Flag football played at that level is a great game. Fast players
stretch the 80-yard field, allowing for quick-strike touchdowns.
Rules which allow for multiple passes behind the line of scrimmage
let some teams play a ball-control game, moving the ball down
the field in 10- or 15-yard chunks. As football goes, there isn't
a lot of actual contact, but bodies do fly around.
The Tribe is something of a legend in UA intramural circles.
They've dominated the game for much of the '90s, causing more
than a little consternation among rivals. Since everyone involved
in intramurals must be affiliated with the UA in some way, eligibility
scrutiny gets tight. This year, someone on a rival team allegedly
scanned student records to check on the eligibility of every member
of The Tribe. This is illegal, of course, and not real smart.
The members of The Tribe are all eligible, although one is doing
his best imitation of Animal House's Bluto Blutarski, who,
as you'll remember, was a seventh-year sophomore.
By reaching the finals, both teams had earned a spot in the state
tournament, to be played this weekend at the UA. Pitting teams
from Northern Arizona University, Arizona State, Grand Canyon
University, and the UA, the two-day tourney will feature games
on the UA Mall Saturday, November 1, with the finals at Drachman
Field on Sunday, November 2.
The state champions will vie for a chance to play for the national
title in the Louisiana Superdome on New Year's Day, before the
Sugar Bowl game. Should The Tribe emerge, it'll be their fourth
trip to the nationals in five years. A couple years ago, competing
in a field of nearly 300 teams, they reached the Sweet 16 before
a stinging defeat in which they blew an 18-point lead.
That game was played in a driving rainstorm which made for treacherous
footing in the below-sea-level, silt-and-sand turf. But hey, both
teams were playing under the same conditions, so let's just go
back to saying they blew an 18-point lead.
The Tribe is an unselfish group of clever veterans. Players rotate
from one position to another, even sharing the quarterback spot.
They play smart and they play hard.
Against SAE in the championship, several players shined. There
was super-quick Paul Carrillo, a former Pueblo High basketball
star who's working on his master's in sports administration.
Mike Santa Cruz, another Pueblo grad, is the son of former Pueblo
football coach Curly Santa Cruz. (No, not the guy who got fired
for grabbing a player's face-mask, which constitutes the sissiest
complaint and lamest firing of all time.) When Curly was 25, he
weighed 182 pounds. Now, near 50, he weighs 181.9997 pounds. The
discrepancy can be traced to the loss of his soul, which he apparently
sold to the Devil in exchange for looking exactly the same as
he did when Gerald Ford was president.
Paced by former Amphi QB Mark Hewson and the others, The Tribe
cruised to a 37-9 win over SAE. In fact, the game was stopped
early when the SAE guys started complaining about the officiating,
as if any ref in the world could administer a 30-point whuppin'.
Having the game stopped might cause SAE to miss the state tourney;
at press time it was uncertain whether they'd be allowed to play.
If SAE can play, an all-UA finals is possible. SAE is one of
the few teams to have beaten The Tribe over the past five years.
And I don't want to make too big a thing of their having been
disqualified. Heck, when I was in college, SAE was in trouble
for one of its drunken members running over a pedestrian in a
parking lot. Yelling at refs is a big step forward.
This may be the last year for The Tribe, many of whom have put
off full-fledged adulthood about as long as possible. Stop by
the UA and watch their last hurrah. They'll be the ones with the
shirts which read, "The Tribe." See, I told you they
were all in college.
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