ARTISTIC LICENSE: You hear it all the time: "Support Local Music." No one seems to notice the implications of this tedious little phrase. Is live music really some sort of charity case, in dire need of being propped up and revitalized lest it wheeze its final, choking breath? Funny, but I've always assumed people attended gigs simply because they wanted to hear some good sounds.

Sound Bites It's certainly no secret that audience numbers for live music, especially on the nightclub level, have been declining for quite some time. Corporate marketing techniques, with their emphasis on demographics rather than originality and passion, have caused music to become fragmented and compartmentalized. Fans now "identify with" music (rather than listen to it)--with each little sub-grouping of fans wearing their chosen style like a coat. Disco/dance music, TV (in particular MTV), and now the Internet are a few other factors that have contributed to people choosing to stay home rather than venture out. People line up and pay stiff cover charges to dance to bad techno, but when a cool national act comes to town they clamor to be comped admission on the guest list. What's the deal?

How many times have you seen a truly worthless and clueless band limping through an awful set and wondered, "What the heck are these clowns doing on a stage, anyway?" And worse yet, "What am I doing here, suffering through their ineptitude?"

It's time to face facts, ladies and gentlemen: There are simply too many bands out there, way more than the average club-goer can reasonably bear.

Too many bands, and most of 'em blow dog. Too many CDs by bands that either aren't ready for the studio, or have no fan base. Too many venues where the music is only an afterthought. Too many greedy club owners who make it impossible for a decent musician to earn a living. Too many people involved in music for the wrong reasons.

To improve the quality of music and prevent further audience abuse, I propose a sort of Brady bill--or Hippocratic oath to "above all, do no harm"--ought to apply to the purchase of any musical instrument intended for public playing. We'll even keep it simple:

1) Who performed "A Love Supreme"?

2) Name five songs by Hank Williams.

3) Who's the "King of the Delta Blues Singers?"

4) Why is Brian Wilson the greatest? (essay question)

You get the idea....

Those demonstrating a modicum of respect for their craft are free to own and use said instrument, and a permit would be issued allowing the bearer to perform in public. Violators (and those who book them) would be subject to severe penalties. Those who fail the exam would be required to attend a class where they could learn the basics of musical style and theory.

I realize that this proposal would make buying a guitar substantially more difficult than buying a handgun, but the cultural benefits would be enormous.

--Al Perry

ON THE WORLD BEAT: Perhaps best known as Jackson Browne's most memorable sideman, David Lindley is that and much more. He's often credited with sparking American interest in world music, having founded The Kaleidoscope--one of the first rock/world music hybrid bands--back in 1967. Since that time, he has continued his explorations of multicultural music in numerous incarnations: as the leader of his own El Rayo-X, which infused American roots music with reggae and world beat; through his acoustic collaborations with the renowned Ry Cooder; with experimental guitar virtuoso Henry Kaiser, with whom he traveled to Madagascar to record two Grammy-nominated CDs of indigenous Malagasy music; and through his teaming-up with Jordanian percussionist Hani Naser. And we haven't even mentioned his voluminous session work with the likes of Bob Dylan, Rod Stewart, Linda Ronstadt and Warren Zevon, among others.

Billing themselves as "The Beavis & Butthead of World Music," Lindley is currently touring with drummer and percussionist Wally Ingram, known for his work with Blues Traveler, Tracy Chapman and Sheryl Crow. Their electro-acoustic performances combine American folk, blues and bluegrass traditions with African, Arabic, Turkish, Celtic, Asian and Malagasy elements; and Lindley, in addition to the boring old six-string, trots out such exotic instruments as the Middle Eastern oud, the Irish bouzouki and the Turkish saz and chumbus. (If you ask me, it's worth the price of admission just to see what the hell some of these instruments look like, let alone sound like.)

This unique concert happens on Friday, September 11, at the Berger Performing Arts Center, 1200 W. Speedway. Special guest Sanjaya opens the show at 8 p.m. All seats are reserved, with advance tickets available for $16 at Hear's Music, or by phone at 529-0356. For more information, call 577-0356.

LAST NOTES: Touring in support of Roadhouse Rules, his first new album in almost five years, as well as Deluxe Edition, a greatest-hits package (both on Alligator Records), bluesmaster Lonnie Brooks brings his powerhouse band to Tucson this week. Joined by son Ronnie Baker Brooks, with whom he trades incendiary guitar licks, the elder Brooks' potent mix of Louisiana swamp blues, hard Chicago blues, and Texas twang will blow the roof off the Boondocks Lounge, 3306 N. First Ave., on Saturday, September 12. Honeyboy & The Stingers kick off the show at 8 p.m., and advance tickets are available at the club for $12. Expect to pay $15 at the door. For details, call 690-0991.

Also visiting this week is everybody's favorite surf-rock band from outer space, Man or Astroman?, which graces Tucson, Arizona, right here on Planet Earth. Purportedly one of the best damn live bands you'll ever see, the Man bring interplanetary sonic yumminess to Club Congress, 311 E. Congress St., for an early, all-ages show on Sunday, September 13. Doors open at 6 p.m., with performances by Ultra Baby Fat and Twine. Admission is $5 at the door.

Be sure to stick around afterwards for Havana, wherein the lovely and talented Tasha Bundy spins ultra-cool, sexy Latin jazz, making for one of the most fun dance nights in town. Call 622-8848 for all the 411.

Things are gonna be jumpin' this weekend at the Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St. This hotspot features The Joint Chiefs, a traditional blues, jump, and swing band fronted by Paladins founder Dave Gonzales, on Friday, September 11. Show time is 9 p.m., and tickets are $5 at the door.

On Saturday, September 12, the theatre reconvenes its Swingin' Saturday Night series with locals Hipster Daddy-O and the Hand Grenades. Get there early for free swing dance lessons at 8 p.m. Advance tickets are $5, available at Hear's Music, Yikes! Toy Store, Zip's University, and Guitars, Etc. Admission is an extra $2 at the door. Call 740-0126 for information on these and upcoming shows.

Mark Zepezauer's Tucson Comic News celebrates its fifth anniversary with a shindig this weekend. Degrees Plato start the party off with their potent brand of bluegrass at 6 p.m., then at 9 p.m. Tucson's two favorite Al's--Al Perry and the Cattle and Al Foul and the Shakes--kick things into high gear. It all goes down on Friday, September 11, at Nimbus Brewery, 3850 E. 44th St. Cover is a mere $3. For further details, call 745-9175.

And if you haven't checked out 7 Black Cats, 260 E. Congress St., that fine new addition to the downtown music scene, here's the perfect chance: Boston's The Racketeers will bring their high-energy rockabilly sound to the club on Wednesday, September 16. If you miss the Stray Cats as much as I do, don't miss this show. Openers Al Foul and the Shakes will be showing off their brand new stand-up bass at around 9:30 p.m. Admission is free before 9 p.m., $5 after that. Call 670-9202 for information.

--Stephen Seigel TW


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