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Hellacopters
Payin' the Dues
White Jazz
IT'S BEEN TOO long since I heard a present-day band kickin' this
much rock-and-roll ass. This album is the shit! The Hellacopters
have a serious Detroit sound--guitars heavy, low-ended and back-breaking,
with Stooge-like feedback and a total Radio Birdman attack. They're
all about rockin' and rollin' motor-rock style, frequently mentioned
in the same sentence as Turbo Negro, Nashville Pussy, and the
Quadrajets, as far as their common no-shit attitude and ear-piercing
thunder. The Hellacopters are the leaders in a small trend to
resurrect the bottomed-out, shit-kicking guitar speed of heavy
metal pioneers like AC/DC and Motorhead, and the thudding groove
of Deep Purple and Sonic's Rendezvous Band.
From the album's first cut, "You Are Nothin'," the
Hellacopters shove their I'm-at-the-end-of-my-rope-but-I'm-still-better-than-you
noise in your face and you can't help but agree. Every song is
a smirk. "Hey!" is among the best of loud, no-apology
freak-outs while "Where the Action Is" announces the
ultimate rock-and-roll truth: "Same old song but it can't
go wrong!"
Unfortunately, Sweden's Hellacopters are still relatively underexposed,
and it's been hard to find their stuff stateside (or at least
locally). Luckily, their popularity is slowly making a slew of
recordings more accessible to fans. You can also hear a cut of
theirs on the Gearhead/Lookout! compilation All Punk Rods,
as well as a recently issued 7-inch on Estrus.
--Fen Hsiao
VÄRTINNÄ
Vihma
BMG/Wicklow
WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED gazing at the attractive front side of Vihma,
give it a 180-degree whirl and you'll stumble upon a slew of 17-letter
words that appear more like additives and preservatives than song
titles. Fear not, though--once the Värtinnä-induced
vibrations reach your eardrums you'll be creating your own 17-letter
words in an attempt to sing along.
The nine-piece Finnish ensemble paints from a family-sized palette
of instruments as it glides fluently through a well-produced collection
of tightly woven melodies. Aside from the chamber of harmonizing
vocalists, the band introduces the sounds of bouzoukis, kavals,
torupills, berimbaus, kanteles and cümbüs tanburs.
You'll most likely fail at identifying which is which, but try
not to cry. Just take it in slowly until the more recognizable
saxophones and accordions kick in.
Värtinnä is a beautiful specimen of traditional and
contemporary music naturally blended. So much so, you might be
persuaded that Martha Stewart had a hand in the construction of
this culminating body of work.
--Simon Zeolot
GARBAGE
Version 2.0
Almo Sounds, Inc.
SO THIS HACK is listening to Garbage's Version 2.0, and
at one point he's duped into thinking it's The Pretenders, or
maybe it's Folk Implosion, no, wait, it's The Bangles...and Curve!
And soon it becomes painfully obvious that Version 2.0
isn't really an album, but a musical inbreeding experiment...and
soon the singer, Shirley Manson, is repeatedly grunting, "Sweat
it all out!"...and instead of some angst-ridden vixen, she
sounds more like a bored sorority girl standing in front of a
microphone, filing her nails and complaining that she's already
done eight takes...and the hack who's still listening to all this
remembers hearing something about these savvy, middle-aged record
producers from Wisconsin who decided to form their own
band and recruited some unknown Eurotrash babe named Shirley to
star in their videos, and it all starts to make sense. At a certain
point he can't take any more, and he rips the disc from the machine
and promptly escorts it to the local record store and gleefully
hands it over for $5 in credit, even though the evil thing cost
him $15 a few days earlier, and when the clerk asks him what he
didn't like about it, he hears himself muttering something about
"derivative, manipulative horseshit," and he figures
the next time he wants to blow $10 on a similar exorcism, he'll
buy a jar of laxatives and spend the spare change on something
infinitely more productive, like maybe a 12-pack of Meisterbraü.
--Christopher Weir
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