CITIZEN ALERT: Last week, we received a bulletin announcing
the opening of the Star Wars Depression Center.
"Staffed by trained psychiatric counselors," the release
explained, "the Star Wars Depression Center exists
to soothe the anguish moviegoers may suffer in association with
the release of the sci-fi prequel."
As a spokesperson for the center explains, "This is the
most highly anticipated film ever, and with that comes the extreme
potential for what we call 'Cinematic Letdown Trauma,' or CLT.
Moviegoers tend to experience CLT every summer, but after waiting
almost two decades for a new Star Wars, we're especially
worried. That's why we're putting therapists on-call."
Haven't seen Phantom Menace yet? Well, that's okay, because
you're encouraged to seek help before you even see the film. "Our
therapists can help calm the rage theater owners may experience
if they won't be allowed to show the film," the spokesman
continued. "We can help ease the shame some fans may feel
by not knowing crucial trivia. If certain moviegoers are really
hurting, we're allowed to plan them a medicinal treatment of other
sci-fi blockbusters. We're ready to help end all kinds of Star
Wars-related pain."
The brains behind the center? None other than the Upright
Citizens Brigade (UCB), the irreverent sketch comics who premiered
last year on Comedy Central. The four-member troupe is 21st-century
Monty Python, without the English accents or silly walks. They
smoothly handle multiple roles in every show, shaping an astonishing
range of characters and happily cross-dressing into a collection
of very unattractive women.
Those who haven't seen UCB's first season (currently in repeats
on Sunday nights on the Comedy Central cable station) have missed
a bizarre but brilliant collection of comedy bits that skewer
pop culture, corporate America, sexuality, religion, racial stereotypes,
frat boys, clones, cyborgs, space travel, get-rich-quick seminars
and just about everything else you can imagine.
We've captured them on tape and forced all our friends to watch
'em, and everybody we know agrees--this show is funny! Especially
the one with the hipster-doofus chick in the café who insists
on reading her diary aloud and putting all the customers on her
definitive list of all the gay people in the world. It seems almost
criminal that something this hysterical slips through the cracks
while people yak about how great South Park is.
If you haven't tuned in yet, catch the reruns while you can.
The folks at Comedy Central tell us the Upright Citizens Brigade
will kick off a second season of 10 new episodes beginning Monday,
June 14.
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