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 COOKIE'S FORTUNE. Director Robert Altman comes back strong
in this quiet story about confused relations in a southern town.
Charles Dutton turns in a career performance as Willis Richland,
who is falsely accused of murder when Camille Orcutt (Glenn Close)
rearranges things at the scene of her aunt's suicide. Julianne
Moore gives even better than her usual turn as Camille's deranged,
thespian sister. Also featuring the ubiquitous Chris O'Donnell
(perhaps most tragically known for his role as Robin), the fetching
Liv Tyler, the under-appreciated Ned Beatty and the indescribable
Lyle Lovett.
--DiGiovanna
ED TV. A 34-year-old loser accepts an offer from a failing
cable company to have his life broadcast 24-7. Though there are
some good jabs at the loss of privacy occasioned by modern media,
the plot gets muddied in a trite and sexist romance story. Bonus:
Director Richie Cunningham casts his old pal Ralph Malph in a
throw-away charity role! Sadly, Potsie and the Fonz couldn't make
it. --DiGiovanna
THE DEEP END OF THE OCEAN. Michelle Pfeiffer has a lot
of veins in her head, and they're out in full force, bulging and
pulsating to the violin on the musical score. She's in middle-class-mom
mode as Beth, a woman who looks stunning in pastels and loses
her 3-year-old son in a hotel. This affects her entire life and
family, but more importantly, allows for the introduction of the
inexplicable character of Candy Bliss (Whoopi Goldberg). The only
black woman in an otherwise white world, Candy pops in and out
as a cop who happens to be a lesbian. She's not just different
from Beth and her husband Pat (Treat Williams), she's really
different. She probably got high marks from the PC ratings
board, but she still doesn't make any more sense than the enigmatic
title. Anyway, people are sad, the boy is found, he eats some
pizza and the family is restored. I can't wait for Deep of
the Ocean 2, where Beth, Pat and Candy go shopping at Wal-Mart.
--Higgins
GO. Go see Go. No, really. I expected this sophomore
effort from Swingers director Doug Liman to suck, what
with its MTV-ready cast and trendy feel. But guess what? It completely
fails to suck. (I hope that gets quoted on an advertisement.)
The film tells the same story from three perspectives, repeatedly
going back to the same event to re-start itself, and each version
is very successful. The first tells of a drug deal gone wrong
(just once I'd like to see a movie with a drug deal gone right...I've
known of quite a few real drug deals, and most of them worked
out A-okay); the second is a crime farce set in Las Vegas, and
the third and best is the story of two male lovers who star in
a TV cop show, and wind up involved with a creepy Amway-dealing
police officer and his libidinous wife (played by Ally McBeal's
Jane Krakowski). The three stories intersect and the film is tied
up as neatly as a Japanese bow. Featuring hot young things Sarah
Polley, Katie Holmes, Jay Mohr and Scott Wolf. --DiGiovanna
GOODBYE LOVER. For a couple of weeks, various strange people
have been asking me if I'm married. No, I'm not married, but only
because Patricia Arquette's personal secretary won't give her
my letters and phone messages. In Goodbye Lover, Arquette
cements her reputation as one of the finest actors of the American
theatre by engaging in Nazi leather sex with Don Johnson and a
jar of pitted olives. This film about murder, double indemnity
and double crosses works as well as any film noir--if you're willing
to swallow the few far-fetched plot twists it gives back with
lots of sleazy action. A big bonus is Ellen Degeneres, who's hilarious
as the cynical police detective investigating a murder and occasionally
putting Arquette into a series of aesthetically pleasing bondage
poses. And any movie that includes the line "fuck me like
a little Republican" deserves our national gratitude.
--DiGiovanna
LOST AND FOUND. This David Spade comedy is a mixed bag.
On the plus side is David Spade, who delivers a series of cruel,
yet self-deprecating, one-liners that are almost always funny.
On the other is the over-worked story of the guy who engages in
stalker-like behavior in order to win a woman whose only appealing
characteristic is her extreme beauty. The role of Extreme Beauty
is played by Sophie Marceau, who's extremely good at looking beautiful.
She won the Cesar Award (the French Oscar) for "Most Looking-Beautiful
Woman-Type Creature" (that's a roughly literal translation).
She plays the romantic comedy version of the ideal girlfriend:
she's hot, she speaks French, and she's willing to date assholes.
If the movie was just Sophie Marceau being painfully fly and David
Spade being painfully funny it'd be a four-star knock-out, but
unfortunately there's also a plot about a missing diamond ring,
a pile of dog poop, a struggling businessman who's willing to
act zany to get a loan, and, of course, the romantic pleasures
of lying, stalking, and felony breaking and entering.
--DiGiovanna
THE MATRIX. Keanu Reeves, Lawrence Fishburne and some B-listers
discover that the world is a computer simulation and that they
can reprogram themselves with abilities beyond the ken of normal
folk. They dodge bullets, leap across tall buildings and fly through
the air and the whole thing looks so cool you'll forget about
the plot holes and story-flow problems and just have an eye-candy
good time. --DiGiovanna
NEVER BEEN KISSED. What an unexpected Beverly Hills,
90210 reunion! David Arquette (remember Diesel, the girlfriend-beating
keyboard player?), Cress Williams (a.k.a. D'Shawn Hardell, token
minority/basketball player/fan of Donna Martin), and Jeremy Jordan
(teen Vanilla Ice, on the 90210 soundtrack album) team
up for Never Been Kissed, 60610: the Chicago years! In
the midst of all this fun is the woman once rumored to be Shannen
Doherty's replacement, Drew Barrymore. This week's topic has to
do with self-love. Poor awkward Josi (Barrymore), a mid-20s copy
editor for the Chicago Tribune, gets a writing assignment
to go undercover as a high-school senior and find the real scoop
on teens. Josi is unable to approach the story objectively because
she was tormented throughout her secondary education as the class
geek, and she has frequent flashbacks that make her vomit. She
confronts her demons with the help of her brother Rob (Arquette),
and finally finds self-confidence through the acceptance of the
popular kids, including the dreamy Guy (Jordan). --Higgins
THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS. In the half-full auditorium where I
watched this dismal comedy, only one viewer really seemed to be
enjoying herself. If you're undaunted by those odds, read on.
Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn play the Clarks, a middle-aged couple
from Ohio who travel to New York City for a job interview. They
encounter one problem after another during the course of the wackiest
24 hours of their poorly sketched-out lives; they get mugged on
the mean streets, unintentionally solicit an audience while having
sex in Central Park (yuck, Steve, close your mouth!) and
accidentally take hallucinogenic drugs. Both roles are thinly
written, yet narrative interest relies upon spectators actually
caring about what happens to them. Like I said, one was the lucky
number at my screening. I myself had better things to think about,
like how far the walk is to the bathroom at those darn monster-plexes.
--Higgins
VELVET GOLDMINE. A beautiful "fairy" tale, and
deep eulogy to shallowness, Velvet Goldmine is a trippy
look at the Glam Rock era. Fictionalized versions of David Bowie,
Iggy Pop and Brian Eno take center stage in a world spawned by
the magical gemstones of Oscar Wilde, where style always wins
in the end, and all that glitters is gay. A flamboyant rock star
who lived in terror of not being misunderstood is sought by a
reporter and ex-fan 10 years after his mysterious disappearance.
Director Todd Haynes uses homosexual Barbie dolls, swirling feathers,
glowing green aliens and wardrobes that would embarrass Liberace
to craft a Brother's Grimm version of the '70s. Starring the shockingly
beautiful Johnathon Rhys-Meyers as a David Bowie stand-in, and
Ewan McGregor as a guy who doesn't need a light saber. --DiGiovanna
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