OK, WE'VE FINALLY accepted the premise that if we'll just subsidize baseball, city and county governments will turn a profit.
We're still a little shaky on how a supposed 3,000 Rockies fans generate more revenue in about a month ($100 million, according to the boosters) than more than 40,000 lady bowlers do ($25 million, according to their boosters), but it's past time we quit nit-picking this wonderful concept called "the multiplier effect." We all know how reliable Pima County Supervisor Ed Moore's math is, and we can surely trust the noble officials of baseball not to pad their stats, even though they are looking for a handout. And surely it's obvious that if you own a crafts shop out on Kolb Road, you'll make out almost as well as the rich guy who owns the hotel where players stay.
From what the promoters have been saying, however, it's really the government that's supposed to make out big on this concept by collecting more taxes.
If baseball could, in fact, bring in the $100 million a year its proponents claim, and the city could grab $2 million in sales tax, plus whatever piece of the $5 mil or so that goes to the state government, of which the county gets back a portion, plus the surcharge on car rentals--why, gee, then any stadium deal costing us less than $3 million a year to pay off will show a net gain to local government coffers.
But why be pikers and just subsidize baseball? We already subsidize the Copper Bowl, which obviously works off the same reliable math as the baseball proposal. And there's yet another proposal floating around town to get the taxpayers to build an ice rink for a hockey team.
Hey, why stop there? There are dozens of sports just waiting for government action; and, using that good old multiplier factor, we could make this town rich, while adding even more winter visitors.
If we can make that much from baseball, then we should leave no sport unturned, nor unsubsidized. Some of them haven't even had a players' strike yet.
We haven't even considered building facilities for:
• ARCHERY. Here's a sport just waiting to take off, particularly with all the folks who want to ban guns. And think of all the high-paying jobs to be created, including arrow smithing and target manufacturing.
• COCK-FIGHTING. Sure it'll upset those animal rights people, but so does rodeo. And, amazingly, it's still legal in Arizona. Time to cash in on our multi-culturalism. It could compete with dog and horse racing for a sports gambling book.
• DWARF-TOSSING. This one was coming on strong until some politically correct wimps interceded. It could make a big comeback given the right logistical back-up, like a special, taxpayer-subsidized arena devoted to the sport.
• POLO. It's in the fine Tucson tradition of having middle-class taxpayers subsidize the rich. And think of the economic benefits as we create more needed jobs for farriers and blacksmiths.
• PUNTING. Finally, a use for CAP water! We build lakes all over town bonded through the Sports Corp. We could even make those lakes big enough for water-skiing and yachting. Think of the high-rollers who'd come to town to use our very own taxpayer-subsidized marina.
• BOCCI. Think of all the Joe Bonanno well-wishers who turned out for his birthday. Now think of all their friends and relatives--a sure moneymaker.
Baseball, football, golf--the taxpayer supports these already. Think how much bigger the payback will be if we include all this other stuff.
There could be a government-subsidized stadium or track for something in just about every neighborhood. That would give every land speculator and holder of flood-prone acreage an opportunity to dump it on the taxpayer--which would greatly increase our economic status and prove to everyone this is a prosperous community.
--Emil Franzi
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