Roasted And Toasted To the Editor, Holy dum-dum, Batman! The Tucson Weekly says we're not smart enough to understand a balanced, well-written story about global warming. Instead, we have to read the hyperbole of Mr. Burns, who according to the editor is "trying to warn of the potential dangers in a way most folks would understand" (Letters, Tucson Weekly, March 28). Never mind that it was climate scientists who were on the record first in recognizing the potential for human-induced global warming; their rational and thoughtful opinions are over our heads, apparently. I am so glad that the journalistic priesthood has decided to simplify the problem in such a dramatic and visceral way. Heaven forbid we should be asked to think about this complex and long-term issue. --Jonathan I. Lunine Editor's Note: Well you just continue happily reading "balanced" stories and thinking about these amusingly complex issues, Bucko, along with the so-called "experts," who apparently have no real sense of urgency about the fact that we are daily churning unimaginable amounts of greenhouse gases into the planet's one-and-only atmosphere, a terrifyingly thin and fragile system which, by the experts' own admissions, is already damaged. Oh, and pay no attention to that annoying light in the sky--while the sun is, relatively speaking, the size of a goddamn Greyhound bus compared to a jelly-bean-sized earth, and while it is relentlessly outputting stupefying amounts of heat energy every nanosecond, it's still a comfy 93 million miles away. Hey, you can even cover it with your thumb when you're looking up in the sky! So how much of a problem could we really have here? Yep, you and the experts are undoubtedly right, we'd bet our lives on that. Just like previous experts were right about DDT being harmless, and X-rays being great for treating zits, or that smokestack way across town venting harmlessly into the air.... In fact, there's probably still plenty of time to ponder complexities and debate the pros and cons. After all, it's not like we're gambling with anything serious here--at least not when compared to the possibility of giving up that all-important internal combustion engine! Now that would really be a drag. We'd sooner burn in hell, or at least have our descendants burn for us. Thorny Problem To the Editor, People who move here seem to have the mentality that they can take but not give back anything that's beyond what's required by law. Such was the case with the recent voting down of the Honey Bee Canyon bond issue in Oro Valley ("Let 'Er Rip," Tucson Weekly, March 14). They must have gotten the message good over the years--namely, to earn their money elsewhere, then move here where they're assured that a plot of desert will be scraped, bladed and waiting for them. And as icing on the cake, all the money they spend can be just on themselves--they don't have to spend it on anything else. Sure, they might have to pay a little extra for their home in order to move some saguaros out the way (to die a slow death next to a parking lot somewhere), but that's just one of those government regulations that serve as a go-ahead for even more development. Once in a great while, too, some pesky environmentalists will make a Herculean effort to put a measure on the ballot to save a small portion of desert. Then, they'll have to interrupt their golf game to go vote it down. How absurd that an environmentally sensitive area like Honey Bee Canyon should have been in the hands of one small community with a short history. It should have been at least a county-wide vote. I hope we can take this as a wake up call for the future--such as with a Tortolita Mountain Park that you mentioned in a recent issue. I encourage everyone to support that. It would be one victory in what otherwise is a one-sided battle where the developers always come out ahead. --Brian Scott Social Studies To the Editor, I liked the cover depicting our governor hanging high (Tucson Weekly, March 28). But I was so disgusted by Michael Burns' article on global warming ("Hell On Earth," Tucson Weekly, February 15) that I could not think of writing a protest letter. But the prissy missive by those planetary scientists, and your response, finally drove me to the typewriter. I despise Lush Bimbo, and I am a socialist who understands that the reason socialism has failed is because there are not enough people of the intellectual and moral stature required to make socialism work worldwide. Solution? Make more socialists by raising the standard of living to free people to pursue education and leisure for reflection. For that we need tractors, irrigation equipment, power plants, trucks, aircraft, highways, cement, gasoline, houses, abundant and cheap food, medicines, hospitals, satellites, and lots of skilled workers, technicians, engineers and scientists who are willing to roll up their sleeves and get to work. Limiting CO2 emissions will prevent Third World countries from industrializing so they can raise their standard of living. Limiting the use of cheap refrigerants will break the "cold chain" and immediately kill millions of poor people who will no longer be able to refrigerate foods and medicines. The argument for global warming and the ozone hole is political science which benefits entities such as the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank, and a host of financial speculators who want to keep Third World countries as sources of cheap labor and raw materials, and is a right-wing, free-market hoax. These heathens pay academic prostitutes to generate phony computer simulations to buttress their arguments. The best data on global warming comes from precise global satellite measurements over the last 16 years that actually show slight global cooling. --Julian Grajewski Editor's Pointless Response: So that's where the British Labor Party screwed up--socialism works only when we have lots and lots of stuff to hand out. Thanks! We'll get right on it--and be sure to come on down and pick up your free tractor! We Want Letters! Thrilled by our brilliant insights? Sick of our mean-spirited attacks? Need to make something perfectly clear? Write: tucsonweekly@tucsonweekly.com

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