You Owe It To Yourself To Pay A Visit To Samba Heaven. By Dave McElfresh THE BIGGEST PARTY in the world is taking place the weekend of February 21. If you want to go, drive south through Nogales, go all the way through Central America, and take a left when you reach Brazil. Rio de Janeiro's carnival makes the Mardi Gras look like your folks' idea of fun. And it all centers around samba, Brazil's percussion-driven dance music that, by God, forbids you to remain in your seat. Imagine a party so great that you and your neighbors spend not only the entire year preparing for it, but much of your year's wages as well. Carnival may literally be a reason to live for the thousands of cariocas (native Brazilians) who live in mountainside shanty slums called favelas overlooking Rio's beaches. Each of the escolas de samba (samba schools) yearly devises a theme, usually one emphasizing the beauty of Rio or the progress Brazil has made since its days under dictatorship in the '70s. Men in rented warehouses work on floats all year long, while women sew matching costumes--usually amounting to monstrous feathered headresses and sequined thong bikinis. One of many submitted theme songs is chosen to be sung by all as they promenade past the Sambadromo, gargantuan bleachers filled with the wealthy tourists and residents (most of Rio's money is in the hands of 5 percent of the city's population) while the judges choose the best presentation from 60 or more samba schools flashing their best. Even when the carnival is months away, every night becomes a pep rally. Park next to the auditorium where your favorite favela is practicing. A homeless kid will protect your car for a few cruzeiros, or will cause the damage himself if you don't cough up. Inside, a bateria of dozens of percussionists (later increasing to literally hundreds of percussionists during carnival) beat a nonstop rhythm literally all night, as thousands of cariocas sing their chosen theme and shuffle in a huge circle--often until it's time to go to work the next morning. The booze is as blindingly potent as backwoods moonshine: One of the drinks looks like a hefty dose of Pepto-Bismol and will require as much of the real thing in the morning. These are the ultimate party people; and, considering the astonishingly young age of those present and still fervently dancing at 4 a.m., they learn how to samba before they learn how to walk. Okay, maybe you can't afford the trip, or you took the wrong turn and ended up in Lima, Peru. No matter. There's plenty of samba out there on CD, allowing you and Jack Daniels to figure out some sort of fake Brazilian two-step (theirs is so fast it's hard to mimic) right there in front of your very own futon. If you want to start way back, you could return to 1917, when Banda Odeon's "Pelo Telefone (On The Phone)" became the first recorded samba, but you might have a better chance of finding some Carmen Miranda, who, back in the '30s, introduced samba to stateside audiences through her appearance in a slew of otherwise dreadful musicals. Two decades later, samba--along with its slower, more sultry sister form, bossa nova--took America by storm when jazzman Stan Getz played the music of Rio's Antonio Carlos Jobim and Joao Gilberto. Thanks to the current interest in lounge music, we can hear versions, albeit intentionally lame ones, of post-"Girl From Ipanema" classics like "One Note Samba," "Samba Do Aviao" and "So Danco Samba." A couple of true carnaval queens worth your attention are Beth Carvalho and the late Clara Nunes. Need more? Venture out into bossa nova and its follow-up movement, musica popular brasileira, by snagging releases by Milton Nascimento (the reigning king of Brazilian music), Elis Regina, Maria Bethania, Caetano Veloso, Dori Caymmi, Marisa Monte, Ivan Lins and Djavan. Crank 'em up. Slip into that lewd day-glo swimsuit bottom not yet worn. Duct tape a feather duster to the back of your head and shake your stuff on top of the dining room table. It'll do ya until you can figure out the party directions and be there in person next year.
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