FORT APACHE, ARIZONA--If Drew Lacapa is ever asked to make
an album of his humor, he already has a working title--Dissed
in Scottsdale. Indian country's hottest new comic does a bit
about walking down the sidewalk in that tony desert town and watching
all the turquoise-laden women gripping their designer purses and
fleeing to the other side of the street. Lacapa is a 300-pound
mixed-blood Apache with a goatee, ponytail, black Ray Ban shades,
black high-topped Keds and shorts. The look is rounded off by
black patches on both knees from his favorite form of relaxation,
tending his home-garden in the tiny settlement of Whiteriver on
the Fort Apache Reservation.
"I'm one sinister-looking Indian," says Lacapa. "I'll
bet there are white people out there right now having nightmares
about me."
But there's nothing to fear. Lacapa is 37, the father of three
and the product of what he calls a Leave it to Beaver Indian
family. He's a Navy veteran for whom patriotism and the American
way are as cherished as the Apache spirits he believes watch over
him.
Lacapa says he tries his hardest to keep sharp social comment
out of his act. He's afraid that his intimidating presence will
frighten audiences, something his idol, noted Oneida Indian comic
Charlie Hill, doesn't do. Hill's act is pointed and openly confrontational,
but he pulls it off because he's small, and has a comfortable,
gray-haired look.
But try as he might, Lacapa's intelligence and extreme sensitivity
make it impossible for him not to comment on the world as he sees
it, and sometimes it hurts.
In a recent performance on the San Carlos Apache Reservation,
Lacapa tells his audience that he wears sunglasses so he can look
at the lily-white cops who are always pulling him over. He does
a riff about John Wayne, complete with an imitation of his hip-shimmy
walk, saying the only thing on the Rez that moves and looks like
the Duke is a mangy dog.
With the young Apache crowd gripping their sides and howling,
Lacapa says he's part Scotch-Irish. "I'd let you see the
Scotch-Irish part," he says, "but I'd have to pull down
my pants."
The crowd screams. But it's true. Lacapa's dad was Hopi-Tewa
and his mother a mixture of Apache and Scotch-Irish. She was born
and raised at Fort Apache, as much a part of the tribe as anyone.
But because of her very light skin, she was called a half-breed
and taunted. When she'd approach, dark-skinned Apaches would whisper,
"Keep your voice down. That white woman speaks really good
Apache."
"That was tough on her and it opened my eyes," says
Lacapa. "We got it from both ends."
His father's story is more tragic. Bennie Lacapa worked as a
carpenter for the tribe's Sunrise Park Ski Resort. One day he
was having chest pains and asked his white boss if he could spare
someone to drive him home. The boss refused. The elder Lacapa,
then 54, went out to the highway to hitchhike and was later found
dead at the side of the road. He'd suffered a heart attack.
Not long afterward, Lacapa himself began working as a maintenance
man at the resort. He was embittered by his father's death, and
began plotting revenge against the white boss. "Blood on
the snow is a beautiful thing sometimes," he kept telling
himself.
But his plan was interrupted when a white man collapsed at the
resort, apparently from a heart attack. Lacapa, an ex-Navy corpsman,
was summoned. He used his training to stabilize the victim and
waited for an ambulance to arrive.
As he knelt there, Lacapa says he was torn between hoping the
man would live and wanting him to die because he was white.
"I held his hand, thinking he was part of the people I hated
the most, and I was full of anger," says Lacapa.
The man recovered, and in what can only be described as a bizarre
aftermath, the white boss, the same one who refused a ride to
Lacapa's dad, was awarded a citation of thanks, even though his
role in the episode was minor.
When he thinks about the incident now, the irony and absurdity
of it almost make Lacapa laugh. But it eventually came to be his
redemption, a means of teaching forgiveness. He gave up his dream
of revenge, although he probably couldn't have gone through with
it anyway. This is, after all, a man who says things like, "I'm
happy when my plants are happy," and in an unguarded moment
can admit the real reason he wears dark glasses on stage: "Half
the time when I'm performing I have my eyes closed because I'm
afraid to see people not laughing."
As a boy, Lacapa went deer hunting with his father, and says
he can still hear the scream of the doe his dad shot. It sounded
exactly like an infant. The long, agonized wail has stayed with
him to this day, and so has his alcoholism. Part of Lacapa's story,
which he incorporates into his act, is the dependence on drugs
and alcohol he developed in the Navy during the late '70s and
early '80s. His unit's barracks supplies included a "party
bowl" filled with pills and balloons inflated with laughing
gas.
"I've been in and out of rehab 12 times," he tells
his Apache audience. Pause. Deep breath. "I guess I'll always
have gambling to fall back on."
His low point was a suicide attempt in 1988, in which he jammed
a powerful rifle into his mouth and squeezed the trigger. It misfired.
He says that nothing generates a greater feeling of inadequacy
than being unable to die at your own hand. "It hurts to see
yourself as such a failure," he says.
Lacapa's demons are quiet now. He believes humor healed him,
and continues to do so. "I guess I still have resentments
against white people that come out in my act," he says. "I
think it's good for people to know what it feels like when it's
your ancestors on the line." He shrugs. "But when people
start laughing, there's no social order."
LACAPA BEGAN PERFORMING in 1987. He worked fairs, parades,
pageants and rodeos on the reservation just for fun. His first
payday was 1991, when he was a nursing student at Arizona State
University. He was asked to entertain at a Thanksgiving gathering
of Native American students. His style hasn't changed from those
early shows. He jumps on stage, gauges what he should talk about
by the feeling he gets from the crowd, and off he goes. He never
uses prepared material.
"If Robin Williams can do it, why not me?" says Lacapa,
who sometimes prances on stage in a camp dress, saying real Apache
men don't fear their feminine side. "I've never had to work
at being funny. It comes naturally."
Carol Sneezy, one of those in attendance at the San Carlos show,
believes that part of Lacapa's popularity is because Apaches love
to laugh. "It's not our image, but it's always been that
way," she says. "We don't take things as seriously as
people off the reservation do. If you have a serious life, it
won't be a happy world."
Native Americans also find it easy to relate to Lacapa's jokes
about growing up as "a total Rez Indian with rough elbows"
in a matchbox trailer with seven brothers and sisters, and his
dead-on imitation of Indians pointing by pursing their lips.
"We see comedians on TV all the time, but it's not the same,"
says Sneezy, who teaches the Apache language at the high school
in Globe, Arizona. "When it's one of your own, you think,
'Dang, he's talking to me.' "
But Lacapa's star is rising beyond Indian country. Late last
year he joined a 14-city tour headed by AIM (American Indian Movement)
activist Dennis Banks and Floyd "Red Crow" Westerman,
the actor who played Ten Bears in Dances With Wolves. The
men were drumming up publicity in the hope of getting a pardon
or clemency for Leonard Peltier, sentenced to two life terms for
killing two FBI agents in a confrontation at Wounded Knee, S.D.,
in 1975.
Lacapa says he joined the tour mostly because he wanted to meet
Banks, another of his Indian heroes. But it became a kind of political
awakening. At first he wanted to hear nothing about Peltier's
case. He was afraid that if he immersed himself in it, and concluded
Peltier was innocent, his cherished sense of patriotism would
die. But it was unavoidable.
After long hours on the bus talking with Banks and Westerman,
and reviewing documents on the case, Lacapa became convinced that
Peltier should be set free. "My patriotism kind of flew out
the window," says Lacapa. "But it's not entirely gone.
I guess I'm stubborn that way. That doesn't mean I can't stab
Bill Clinton in the ass every chance I get. Four years ago he
promised to remember Native people, and he hasn't done a thing
for Native Americans."
The tour put Lacapa's name in newspapers around the country.
So did his appearance at the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta.
He was the featured comedian at the Native American venue, doing
three weeks of shows at $500 apiece. The money was more than half
the annual salary he was making changing bedpans at the Indian
Health Services Hospital in Whiteriver.
His asking price now is $500 a show. He does about three a month.
In mid-June he played a youth jam on the Tohono O'Odham Reservation,
another show in Sells, and drew a raucous crowd in one-hundred
degree temperatures. He was back in Sells this past weekend, showing
up there now about every three months. He plays at the Sunrise
Ski Resort and at the Native American Arts Festival in Lakeside,
Arizona. This past August he played in Omaha and Santa Fe.
His biggest break, at least potentially, came late last March
when Lacapa performed in Tribe, an all-Native American
stage show at the Celebrity Theater in Phoenix. He played a wannabe
warrior and stole the show.
"The audience, which was probably 70 percent white, just
loved Drew," says Doron Krinetz, one of the show's writers,
and vice president of Red Sky Productions, a Phoenix company.
"He did two short segments that we wrote for him, and one
five-minute bit that was free-form. He's so physical that he was
just standing there and the audience was laughing. I think he
was the only character in the whole show they really felt they
knew."
True to form, Lacapa took the acclaim with equal doses of appreciation
and sarcasm. Told that a local newspaper critic was going to rave
about his work, he cracked, "I hope he isn't writing on treaty
paper."
Following the closing show, Lacapa and his wife, Olivia, drove
to the Ak-Chin Casino outside Phoenix to relax. While there he
was approached by an elegant-looking woman who said her husband
wanted to meet him. It was 2 a.m. when she led Lacapa into the
poker room to meet Paul Silas, an assistant coach of the Phoenix
Suns. Silas told Lacapa he was knocked out by his work, and said
he had a friend at the famed Apollo Theater in New York who might
be interested in him.
Lacapa figured nothing would come of it. But a few days later
he was home in Whiteriver when a representative of the Apollo
called asking to see a demo tape and some publicity photos. Lacapa
has neither, but says he'll put them together before long.
"They'll get them when they get them," he says. "This
is as much about the process as anything else. If real success
comes down the road, then it comes."
As the experience shows, it might be hard to coax Lacapa too
far from his Fort Apache home. He tells a story about the loneliness
of his days in the Navy, stationed at Okinawa, where, he says,
no Japanese dared speak to him. He liked to sit out at night and
daydream about home. He swears that when he closed his eyes he
could smell the piñon and the hominy stew, and hear the
crown dancers.
"Then I'd look up at the sky and think that somewhere under
that same moon was Whiteriver," says Lacapa. "I learned
to be grateful for the 1.5 million acres of Fort Apache land.
I told myself I'd never want for anything else in my life."
So, for the time being, he's happy being an Apache celebrity.
"I get recognized all the time," Lacapa says. "Just
the other day, a lady came up to me and goes, 'Aren't you Fernando
Valenzuela?' "
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