By Jim Nintzel
THE 42ND LEGISLATURE'S drive to let the feds know we Arizonans are crazy in love with chlorofluorocarbons is still going strong. As faithful readers will recall, Mesa and Glendale Republicans have teamed up to sponsor legislation that would promote Arizona as the CFC capital of the world.
Last Thursday, February 2, the memorial--which would send a message to Washington that Arizona doesn't buy into the notion CFCs cause ozone depletion--got a hearing before the loopy House Environmental Committee.
Coming out to testify on behalf of the memorial were the GOP's NASA's-a-conspiracy fringe, who scoff at the space agency's research linking CFCs, ozone depletion and global warming. Among those testifying was Becky Fenger, a Republican activist who earned the nickname "F-Stop" for stalking her GOP primary opponent with a 35-mm camera last year. Fenger, a total wacko, lost the election.
Fenger told committee members she had come "carrying the message from the soul of Dixie Lee Ray," a renown but deceased anti-environmentalist.
Hmmm--Capitol channeling, just three weeks into the session. Can't imagine what's going to be happening by the end of March.
The CFC memorial passed on a 5-3 vote, with Tucson lawmakers Herschella Horton, Elaine Richardson and Andy Nichols on the losing end.
"I've lost all faith in NASA because they now have a female space captain," Rep. Jerry Overton (R-Litchfield Park) told the Phoenix Gazette. "That's why I voted aye."
When she wasn't listening to complex NASA conspiracy theories, Horton found time to team up with Sen. Ann Day (R-Tucson) and two other lawmakers to introduce legislation making it illegal for therapists to have sex with clients until they've been out of treatment for two years.
If the no-sex-with-shrinks bill passes, it will make more work for the Arizona Attorney General's office--if there still is one. The crusade against Attorney General Grant Woods continued last week, with Tucson Sen. Patti Noland introducing Senate Bill 1241, which would strip away the AG's civil rights division and give it to the Department of Administration--the guys who run the motor pool. We're comfortable with the idea of those guys defending our civil rights.
Sen. Carol Springer (R-Prescott) and Rep. Bob Burns (R-Glendale) also took a stab at the AG's office, but went even further, suggesting it be stripped of its entire civil division, which has more than 100 lawyers representing state agencies. Instead, those attorneys would be under the command of a state general counsel, who would be under the control of the governor.
Led by Sen. Jim Buster (R-Yuma), lawmakers also made a move to strike a provision in Arizona law requiring that exterminators "be of good moral character." Perhaps they've decided it would be a good field for ex-cons.
Sen. John Kaites (R-Phoenix) introduced Senate Bill 1380, which would allow bad faith claims in court. In other words, if you're stood up for a prom date or left jilted at the altar, you could take legal action--like suing to get your engagement ring back (although that's in direct violation of Dear Abby's advice on the matter). Not to be outdone in the gratuitous legislation department, Buster sponsored SB 1399, which would allow drug testing of veterinarians at horse and dog tracks.
Finally, a note of caution to would-be body snatchers: Five legislators, including Tucson Rep. George Cunningham and Sen. Peter Goudinoff, have signed onto House Bill 2461, which would prevent anyone other than an employee of a cemetery from opening a grave.
Is this a problem these days?q
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