The Craft Of Interviewing Is Easy--When You've Got All The Right Quotes. By Tom Danehy I RAN INTO the world-famous (and soon to be homeless) chef Janos Wilder the other day over at FIT. He was being put through a grueling workout by Todd Judge, who was using the fact that Janos had an Ohio State-shade-of-red shirt on to punish him for rooting against Todd's beloved ASU in the Rose Bowl. Janos is bummed about being kicked out of the spot he's occupied since 1983, but he'll land on his feet, probably up in the foothills with the rich white folk. I decided I'd try one last time to get Tucson Museum of Art Director Robert Yassin to talk about his obsession with chasing Janos out of his long-time space. But ever since our Margaret Regan did this incredibly well-balanced account of the TMA-Janos fiasco, Yassin doesn't want to talk to The Weekly. So, using the time-honored (in this case, meaning it dates back to 1994) Al Franken method of interviewing, I'll probe Yassin for the truth. Franken introduced this method in his mega-platinum best-selling book. Yeah, the guy sells a buzillion books by making a title out of a phrase that 90 percent of all Americans have muttered at one time or another, Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot. Tucson Weekly: Mr. Yassin, despite having willingly and successfully rented out the restaurant space to Janos, are you sticking to that ridiculous story that it was always your intent to use the houses as a museum? Yassin: It was always our intent to use the houses as a museum. (Tucson Weekly, 10/3/96) TW: Your thought processes are amazing. Tell me about that head of yours. Yassin: It's a wonderful old structure with thick adobe walls. (Arizona Daily Star, 12/8/95) TW: Your critics say that you and the museum board of directors are being mindless and petty, while many of your supporters even admit you're being selfish and unyielding. Yassin: It's hard to define what we are. (Tucson Citizen, 4/13/96) TW: Well, can you describe the egos of yourself and the board members? Yassin: One huge, two big ones, and three small. (Citizen, 4/13/96) TW: What would you say to the thousands of people who will miss the great food at Janos after you kick him out? Yassin: You can have grease fires. (Weekly (10/96) TW: That's a little harsh, isn't it? Yassin: The whole world isn't based on profit. (Weekly, 10/96) TW: But obviously you're hoping that your new museum, full of swap meet-quality Western art, will be. Yassin: We have enough money. (Citizen, 4/13/96) TW: Yeah, but you and the city could've had a lot more if you'd let Janos pay all those taxes and the rent that he and the city agreed upon. Yassin: Art is not a background for a restaurant. (Citizen, 4/96) TW: Wow, that sounded almost intelligent! Do you have any other clever phrases that some P.R. flack wrote for you? Yassin: Public good vs. private profit. (Weekly, 10/96) TW: That's a good one, too. Let's change subjects. We heard a rumor about you and your proctologist. Yassin: We had problems, like everybody. (Citizen, 4/96) TW: That isn't true. Not everybody is as big an...well, never mind. Tell me about your integrity and public support. Yassin: We've lost a great deal of it. (Weekly, 10/96) TW: That shouldn't really surprise you. Look who's on your side: John C. Scott and his small vocal band of naysayers. Yassin: That concerns me. (Weekly, 10/96) TW: As well it should. Oh yeah, you also have José Ibarra and his snide little remarks about how nobody on the south side knows about Janos. Doesn't that seem a bit racist to you? Yassin: We've got to take care of what we have. (Weekly, 10/96) TW: Where'd you get that one, at a Pat Buchanan rally? Anyway, let's talk about your enterprise. When you and the board members decided on your ill-planned course of expansionism... Yassin: We made some wrong decisions. (Weekly, 10/96) TW: There's an understatement. They could teach a class on your blunders. What do you think would happen if you wrote a book detailing your snafus? Yassin: It would be an amenity and an income producer. (Weekly, 10/96) TW: There you go with money again. Why don't you just hire the place out for bachelor parties and bar mitzvahs? Yassin: The museum always wanted to have a lunch service. (Weekly, 10/96) TW: There's this guy named Janos who can whip up a decent relleno. Maybe you could let him handle this "lunch service." Yassin: Restaurants burn down all the time. (Weekly, 10/96) TW: Yeah, that's a good excuse for kicking him out. Why, in the past 10 years in all of Tucson, there's been...what, one restaurant burn down? Yassin: This is not a new building. (Weekly, 10/96) TW: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what are you going to tell the board when you give Janos the boot and then nobody shows up to your new, expanded museum? Yassin: The only real way to preserve it is to not let people on it. (Weekly, 10/96) TW: They'll go along with that. Thank you, Mr. Yassin. Yassin: It was always the intent to use the houses as a museum. (Weekly, 10/96) TW: Okay, okay...

		© 1995-97 Tucson Weekly . Info Booth