The Taking of Pelham 123

A douched-up remake of a minor classic from the 1970s. In the new version, director Tony Scott replaces the subtlety and grimy realism of the original with John Travolta wearing the kind of mustache that people who want to be cool read about in old magazines they find in trash bins behind gay barber shops. The plot involves a group of criminals hijacking a subway car and demanding $10 million in ransom. Then they start randomly shooting passengers, and cars flip over, and there’s an aerial shot which looks like it was swiped from Google Maps, and then Denzel Washington does a lot of running, and then people are glad, and milk is purchased. The end.

The Taking of Pelham 123 is not showing in any theaters in the area.

Director:

  • Tony Scott

Cast:

  • Denzel Washington
  • John Travolta
  • John Turturro
  • Luis Guzmán
  • James Gandolfini
  • Michael Rispoli
  • Frank Wood
  • John Benjamin Hickey
  • Gary Basaraba
  • Ramon Rodriguez
  • Gbenga Akinnagbe
  • Katherine Sigismund
  • Jake Siciliano
  • Aunjanue Ellis
  • Alex Kaluzhsky
  • Tonye Patano
  • Jason Butler Harner

Producers:

  • Todd Black
  • Tony Scott
  • Jason Blumenthal
  • Steve Tisch
  • Barry Waldman
  • Michael Costigan
  • Ryan Kavanaugh

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