Hellboy

I’m not one of those pansy-assed new-agers who thinks violence in the real world is automatically bad and hurts the feelings of flowers and bunnies everywhere, but I do think that if you’re going to go to all the trouble of making an actual motion picture, you should include something besides scenes of people getting hit. Obviously, the creators of Hellboy disagree with me, because instead of a plot or well-developed characters or a script that doesn’t sound like it was farted out of Bruce Willis’ ass, they’ve delivered up a couple of hours of punching. Kind of like watching professional wrestling, only without all the witty repartee and intellectually demanding back-story. On the plus side, the hero is from Hell, unlike the hero of this year’s other big superhero movie. On the downside is, well, everything else.