Dear Folks Involved in the Vaccination Effort at the Tucson Community Center:
YOU'RE THE GREATEST! From the guy directing traffic to the madly skilled woman who put the needle in my arm to the uber-polite person checking to make sure that the newly vaccinated didn't try to sneak out before their prescribed post-shot down time—you're all a bunch of badasses. You're doing God's work and America's work and Hippocrates' work. You're making the world inhabitable again.
I'm old, but since I have the immune system—to go along with the girth—of a thoroughbred, I decided to wait to get vaccinated. I wanted all the teachers and first responders and grocery-store workers to get their shots first. And so, I waited until April to get my first dose of the Moderna vaccine.
Even the website that I used to sign up for the vaccine worked perfectly; what are the odds of that?! When I went for my first shot the morning of Good Friday, I expected to be blowing a couple hours, but it was unbelievable. No lines, no hassles, no waiting. The first delightful woman had me sanitize my hands and put on an extra mask. The next one politely directed me to Table #4, where the young man took my info and made the appointment for my second shot.
From there, it was through the double doors into the auditorium and directly to a vaccination station. The woman asked me "Right or left?" I'm pretty sure that she wasn't talking about politics, but, just in case, I said left.
This sounds silly, but I swear I didn't even feel the needle go into my arm. To be sure, I have mostly adipose tissue where my deltoid used to be, but it was amazing. She had to tell me to get up out of the chair.
If anything, it was even better last week when I got my second shot. You people have been doing this for months, but you show no signs of weariness. You made it an absolutely amazing experience for me (and, as far as I could tell, for everybody else). For your skillful, professional, and cheerful efforts, you will have something to be proud of for the rest of your lives. Thank you.
As for me, from now on:
• When habitual gripers complain that government can't do anything right, I'll point to the smooth-as-silk nationwide operation that distributed 200,000,000 doses of the vaccine in less than 100 days.
• When the Ted Cruzes of the world rail about Obamacare, we can all revel in the seamless cooperation between multiple layers of government and the health-care industry.
• When the talk-radio liars spread dangerously false information about masks and distancing and now vaccines, we can be sure that from a historical perspective, the rollercoaster pattern of infections and deaths traced directly to the mindless and selfish flouting of heath regulations will become even more evident. But we'll also be able to trace a clear correlation between the number of vaccinations and the decline of the virus. We have to meet their lies with truth.
• And when the people who despise the previous President so much that they can't even give credit where it is due (in terms of the initial push for a vaccine), I will quite honestly say that even a blind racist occasionally finds a nut.
Dear Sen. Sinema:
I hope you're enjoying your time in the spotlight as one of two people who could derail the Democrats' agenda. But you might want to snap out of it or find yourself looking for a new job in a few years.
First off, enough with the bio stuff. You're bisexual? So what? I suppose some people might tell you to make up your damn mind, but as far as I can tell, the only people who care about that stuff are televangelists and porn directors. You wear pink wigs and run triathlons? Well, aren't you special? You graduated college at the age of 18? First of all, that's just sad, but while you were learning stuff, did they teach you that the filibuster about which you claim to be so passionate no longer exists?
And as for this "bipartisanship" of which you speak so fondly, sadly that's also a relic of the past. (We all wish it weren't.) Instead of all this posturing and spotlight-grabbing, perhaps you might remember why you're where you are.
You were elected, as a Democrat, to represent the people of Arizona. Even though you were running against a horrible candidate who had sold her soul to Donald Trump (and, in a way, you were also running against Trump himself), you barely won. And in the past couple of years, Arizona has zoomed to the left while you're still trying to straddle some imaginary line of bipartisanship.
It's time to do your damn job.
Dear Michelle Udall:
So, the bill you're pushing in the State Legislature says that any "controversial issues" discussed in a school classroom has to be discussed from "diverse and contending perspectives."
Does that mean that, after Republicans lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie about the 2020 election, it rises to the level of "controversy" and teachers are forced to perpetuate the Big Lie or risk a $5,000 fine? You suck.
