Be Cool

Some day, in the distant future, our robot masters will have perfected the formula for big-budget, mass-market comedies, and all of our movie-going experiences will be perfectly enjoyable. Be Cool stands as a testament to the fact that we have not yet entered that golden, post-human age. Ostensibly, a sequel to the actually amusing Get Shorty, this film falls so hard on its face that it actually had to be stopped in the middle in order to get a cinematic nose job. John Travolta reprises the role of Chili Palmer, but he’s no longer effortlessly cool, because he has to say things like "I know more about rap than you think. I know who the Sugar Hill Gang are." Ouch, dude! The story has something to do with Chili becoming the manager of a struggling R&B singer, but her act is so awful (including lyrics like, "I’m singing a song that’s inside of me,") that it’s impossible not to wince when everyone acts like she’s the second coming of Aretha Franklin. A nice comedic turn by Andre 3000 as a trigger-happy rapper does only a little to lighten the burden of sitting through the grueling 114 minutes of this film. Do yourself a favor and stay home cleaning your toilet instead. It’ll be far more entertaining.