Alone in the Dark

The opening narration of Alone in the Dark goes on and on with some malarkey about our world being shared with a world of darkness that we cannot see. I concur that we inhabit the planet with a world of darkness, but that world is quite viewable and is inhabited by the likes of Tara Reid and Stephen Dorff. Based on some video game, the film follows the helplessly incoherent exploits of Edward Carnby (Christian Slater), a paranormal investigator who has fuzzy memories of childhood trauma and wears a stupid-looking trench coat. Carnby has been globetrotting looking for artifacts from an ancient civilization that supposedly disappeared after unleashing some sort of monster force from the bowels of the Earth. He and his banal girlfriend (Reid) band together against these forces or whatever they are, and basically take part in a bunch of gunplay and running around that makes absolutely no sense.