Asked how he sees his role in Tucson Comedy, Gary Bynum, owner of Laffs Comedy Caffé says, “I think just developing the local comics is important in the comedy scene in general. You have to start locally. Forty comics come every Thursday to open mic nights.”

Laffs, 2900 E. Broadway Blvd., has hosted open mics for 28 years. Bynum and his staff freely offer personal feedback based on their knowledge of what gets people out to see a professional comedian. If you pass muster at open mics, the club may offer you a guest slot opening for a nationally known comedian. That exposure could lead to other opportunities beyond Tucson.
The Laffs mic is the granddaddy, the pro, the three-minute set that can get an aspiring Tucson comic on the ladder to their dreams. There is literally no competition.

However, a whole lot of comics are competing for stage time, the more the better. Some have gotten busy creating free opportunities for themselves, their pals and anyone else who might enjoy a no-pressure opportunity to try out their comedy stylings. That’s lots more comedy for Tucsonans to see, if you’re out for fun and not looking for consistent high quality. Rarely, you may find someone crude. While nearly all regulars are sensitive to race, disability and animal-rights issues, a handful still struggle with representing women as people instead of, say, meat. Feel free to make your feelings known.

In the spirit of Giftmas, then, Laughing Stock(ing?) herewith presents you with the gift of free laughs throughout the month.

Ducey proposes billions in new taxes to pay teachers! Oops, sorry, my bad. Wrong governor. That should read, [Washington State Governor Jay] Inslee proposes billions in new taxes to pay teachers. The Washington State governor wants to add $4 billion in taxes so starting teacher salaries can increase from the current $35,700 to $54,578. Meanwhile, our governor Ducey has been toying with us for the 215 days since Prop 123 passed, putting out teasers about raising education funding, but he hasn't proposed a penny, and it's unlikely he'll call for a significant increase in the upcoming state budget. He could surprise us, of course. But don't hold your breath.

One more thing. Before the $4 billion Gov. Inslee is proposing, Washington is already spending $2,500 more per student than Arizona.

Which brings us to the recently published final report from Ducey's Classrooms First Initiative Council. The main thrust of the document is to change the way we distribute money to K-12 schools. If we don't see a significant budget increase, the recommendations, if implemented, will create financial winners and losers. The amount each school receives will increase or decrease. If it stayed the same, why bother changing things? Inevitably, some schools will get a bigger slice of the pie, and others will have their slices cut a little thinner.

If the recommended redistribution becomes law, it will be the most significant change in the way money is given out to schools in decades. And if I read the report's recommendations correctly, and combine them with what I know Arizona conservatives have been advocating for years, school districts with lots of low income students will be the losers, while charters and districts with high income students will be the winners.

This is an all new, original musical from director Damien Chazelle (Whiplash) that is surprisingly low on melodrama while full of vibrancy, beautiful tunes, outstanding set pieces and a stunning sense of realism for a movie where the characters bust out singing. It’s the best “original” movie musical ever made.

The story follows wannabe actress Mia (Emma Stone) and jazz composer Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) as they try to make it in crazy Los Angeles. They meet, they don’t like each other much at first, but then they fall in love, which provides Chazelle and his performers ample opportunities for musical numbers that surprise at every turn. In what will go down as one of the year’s greatest scenes, the film opens on an L.A. traffic jam that evolves into a full blown dance number featuring many extras and top notch editing and camera work that make the whole thing look like one shot.

In a year when a lot of big blockbusters swung and missed, this relatively low budget venture delivers some of 2016’s best money shots. This solidifies Ryan Gosling as one of the best actors of his generation. He can wow you with insightful indies (Blue Valentine, Drive) and carry big budget blockbusters (the upcoming Blade Runner sequel … let’s hope it’s good). Now, with La La Land, he takes his game to a new level. He proves he can pretty much do anything when it comes to movie characters. He can sing with the best of them, he’s definitely no slouch when it comes to dancing and, by God, he sure can play the piano after a few months of intensive training for the movie (Those aren’t stunt hands playing the keys … those are Gosling’s).

Just like that, Gosling is a full bodied star of the musical genre. Emma Stone is a mind-blowing revelation. Stone doesn’t just make her mark with a beautiful voice and expert footwork; she embodies the character with the honest and almost tragic drive to “make it” in the business.

If you’re seeking an artistically inspired way to end 2016, look no further than Decadence on New Year's Eve and the night before. Featuring all electronic artists spanning a wide array of genres and styles, Decadence goes down at the Rawhide Western Town and Event Center in Chandler, AZ.
A lineup star is Porter Robinson, a very young dude who has reimagined his sound and created an album that delivers a truly inexplicable experience. I saw Porter twice recently and both sets were extremely memorable, and not merely re-hashes of other artists' sounds.

A common EDM criticism is it isn’t poetic enough to allow individual interpretations; where as with, rock and folk songs many people relate to the lyrics on their own terms and thus have a relationship with the music only they can fully understand. Robinson creates in his live sets, and in the music itself, a kind of personal experience for each of his listeners; he manages to hit on emotional levels. Unlike most DJs, his music takes you on a journey visually and melodically, if you pay attention. Robinson is inspired by modern Japanese culture and blends tweaked anime vocal samples and beautiful animation. The effect is like a psychic rollercoaster that hits soaring peaks of joy and plummets to lows of sadness.

For those who dig the more typical, communal experience of the EDM scene, Marshmello is also playing a set. A spin-off of Deadmau5 (who is also headlining), Marshmello sports an LED marshmallow helmet and wears all white. His music has a lot of sugary synths and “mellow” rhythms that bring out the little kid in you. The hip-hop inspired beats are easy to dance to and he welcomes all to just let loose and join his "mellogang.” His messages of family, community and acceptance spread wide over his listeners as we dance together in circles and freely hug one another.

Just as Daft Punk and Deadmau5 once did, Marshmello conceals his identity and tries hard to keep it a secret in order to embody his messianic-y message that we are all Marshmello. He’s also suggesting anyone can be successful at something they love. One of his newest tracks, "Alone,” tells the story of how lonely he felt when he first left his hometown, and everyone he knew, to head out on tour. Marshmello eventually realized he wasn’t alone because he had all of his family with him. His family, of course, is us. See?

In a world where status and wealth divide us, Decadence strives to bring us together for a night of celebration, creative visuals and dance. It seeks to kick off 2017 in a joyous way. Friday and Saturday, Dec. 30-31 at the Rawhide Event Center, 5700 W North Loop Rd., Chandler, Ariz. 5 p.m. each day. 18+. For more info, go to decadencearizona.com.

Conservative talk radio loves to condemn the bias of the mainstream media. The hosts have persuaded their audience to ignore and discount any information coming from the MSM. The result is, the media has been delegitimized, the normal guideposts are down, the referees are discredited.

Of course I'd believe that, disliking conservative talk radio as much as I do. Naturally I'd blame them for harming our national discourse by demonizing the media. But I didn't say it. My first paragraph is a paraphrase from a column written by Charlie Sykes, a well known conservative talk show host from Wisconsin. Here it is in his words.

One staple of every radio talk show was, of course, the bias of the mainstream media. This was, indeed, a target-rich environment. But as we learned this year, we had succeeded in persuading our audiences to ignore and discount any information from the mainstream media. Over time, we’d succeeded in delegitimizing the media altogether — all the normal guideposts were down, the referees discredited.

It's a fascinating column from a guy like Sykes whose conservative credentials are impeccable. "I helped advance the careers of conservatives like House Speaker Paul D. Ryan; Gov. Scott Walker; Reince Priebus, the chairman of the Republican National Committee; and Senator Ron Johnson," he wrote in the column. He dislikes collective bargaining and is a staunch supporter of school choice. He and I have nearly nothing in common politically or ideologically. The only thing we share is a dislike of Donald Trump. And that's where his trouble began.

Hi, I'm Domingo!

I'm a handsome 1.5-year-old boy and I need a new home! I was found as a stray, but I'm not letting that get my spirits down, I know I'll find a new home soon.

I love other dogs and love going on my daily walk. If you're looking for a fun, big dog to join your home I might be the perfect fit! Contact the Humane Society of Southern Arizona Main Campus at 327-6088 ext. 173 to check on my availability and exact location.

Lots of love,
Domingo (834695)

A witch (Samantha Robinson) moves to a new town after losing her husband, casting spells on men to make them fall in love with her.

Writer-director Anna Biller’s crazy ode to sixties Technicolor horror is an absolute triumph of art direction, and also a keen riff on gender issues. The movie looks like it was made by Roman Polanski in a trippy mood; the performers are mostly clad in sixties garb, even though the film is set in the present. Only the occasional cellular phone and late model car reveals that the movie is set in the present, with everything else, including the melodramatic performances and pacing, suggests the sixties.

It’s a weird and rewarding movie experience, even if it does drag on about thirty minutes too long. Robinson makes for an entrancing lead, and deserves extra credit for the pacing of her performance. Her exaggerated line delivery seems delivered straight from the set of Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.

Biller not only wrote and directed the film, but also composed its score, designed the sets and made the costumes. This is a director who knows exactly what she wants. This is one of the film year’s most unique achievements. There’s nothing quite like it, unless you go fifty years back in time.

Don't expect to see additional money for education coming out of the 2017 legislature. Ain't gonna happen, unless I'm happily mistaken. (Man, would I like to be wrong about this!) Instead, expect to see them talk about ways to change how we spread around the current funding, and about how to get more money into the classroom. That's how the Classrooms First Initiative Council framed the issue in its Final Report, and it's how Republicans are going to frame their argument when they write their budget, as if the most important thing is doling out the current funding more fairly and spending it more efficiently. They're going to use that to duck the biggest issue facing our schools: not enough money.

The fact is, any inequities in the way we dole out money to schools and inefficiencies in the ways schools spend it pale in comparison to our unconscionable underfunding of K-12 education in Arizona.

Ducey calls his group looking at education funding his Classrooms First Initiative Council for a reason. A favorite conservative ploy to change the subject from increasing school funding is to talk about the percentage of money that makes it into the classroom. So let's take a look at that bit of misdirection.

It's true, Arizona schools spend a lower percentage of their overall funding for instruction than most other states. It's true and inevitable. The less money schools have overall, the higher the percentage that goes to pay for fixed expenses like building maintenance, operating expenses, transportation and food services. You simply can't do much to lower those costs. But you can always cram a few more desks into a classroom, put off new textbook and computer purchases and, of course, pay your teachers insultingly low salaries. The less money schools have, the lower the percentage that makes it into the classroom.

But let's say Arizona schools figure out how to get a larger percentage of their funding into instruction. Let's say they raise classroom spending by five percent. That sounds like a lot more money in the classroom, right? But it isn't. It's less than $400 per student.

"Hey look, everybody, a brand new education finance pony! And there's money inside!"

Yeah, maybe, but I don't think so. Prove me wrong. Please, prove me wrong. Show me lots and lots of new money for education. But what I see is a new education funding plan that moves around the existing money without a commitment to add a single new dollar. And the way the money moves will very likely hurt district schools with low income kids, and help charter schools.

Ducey's Classrooms First Initiative Council published its long-awaited, long-delayed Final Report. The Council's mission was to come up with ways to redo our state education financing system. It came up with 12 recommendations, none of which specifically says the schools need more money. Recommendation 10 says we should increase teacher salaries. How? Doesn't say. Maybe new funding, maybe making cuts elsewhere, who knows? Number 11 says we need to create a funding priority for low income schools. With new money or existing funds? Again, doesn't say. But the first nine recommendations are filled with all kinds of ideas about changing where education money comes from and how it's spread around. Most of them were proposed years ago by Lisa Graham Keegan, former Arizona Superintendent of Education, former senior education policy advisor for John McCain during his 2008 presidential run and current top education advisor to Governor Ducey, albeit unofficially. She's a friend of charter schools—when she was in the State Senate, she pushed through the original charter legislation—and a friend of vouchers—she got her charter bill through by threatening voucher legislation if she didn't get her way. Then she went on to be the Arizona Superintendent of Education, where she initiated the wild-west-style approach to creating charters, the more the merrier, and letting them do pretty much whatever they want to do.

A story in the Star holds out hope for more education funding, but I'm not convinced. According to the article, Ducey said he's figuring out a way to get more money. How? He's had 210 days since Prop 123 passed and he promised a "next step" for school funding was coming. But now, after all that time, if he has a plan, he's not saying what it is.

“We’re going to have an exciting education agenda this year,” the governor said. “And you’re going to hear about it in the State of the State” address.

A few days ago, Ducey lied at least three times about this year's wonderful additions to education funding which weren't really additions to education funding in his 2016: Year in Review. No doubt those lies will be repeated in his State of the State address, with new lies about new funding heaped on top without any real plans to move us out of the dollars-per-student cellar.

Your Weekly guide to keeping busy in the Old Pueblo.

Holidays

It's mid December, which means holiday themed events abound. Here's everything you need to know to get your festive cheer on this year.


Meet the Clauses

Holiday Express with Santa at Historic Train Depot: For all the Christmas lovers out there, what is the holiday season without a picture with Santa? Join the Southern Arizona Transportation Museum as the put on an afternoon full of Christmas cheer. With holiday music, a showing of the Polar Express, and Santa himself, what could be better? Don't miss out on this event that is perfect for the whole family. Noon - 4 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 17. 414 N. Toole. Free.

Storytime with Mrs. Claus at The Carriage House: As everyone knows, Santa Claus is nothing without the Mrs. The Carriage House has taken note of that and is hosting an afternoon full of Mrs. Claus herself. Enjoy hot cocoa and cookies as Mrs. Claus shares her favorite holiday stories. 1:30 - 3:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 17. Carriage House, 125 S. Arizona Ave. $20.

Take in a show

Elf: If you're dying to see the holiday movie that somehow managed to make Will Ferrell likeable, you’re in luck. Elf is the story of a baby named Buddy who crawled into Santa's sack and was taken back to the North Pole where he is raised as an elf. Once he is an adult, he decides to make the adventure back to his hometown of New York City to find his father, sing with Zooey Deschanel in the shower and discover the wonder of the mailroom. 2 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 20. The Fox Theatre, 17 W. Congress St. Adults: $7, Students/Military/Seniors: $5, Children 12 and under get in free.

Holiday Sing-along: Get ready for a holiday music party with The Loft Cinema. The theater will host its annual party with the best holiday music moments from classic movies, T.V. shows and music videos. Admission comes with one goodie bag filled with props to use during the show. If you bring an unwrapped toy for donation to Casa De Los Ninos, admission price is half-off. 7:30 - 9:30 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 15. The Loft Cinema, 3233 E. Speedway Blvd. General Admission: $10. Members and kids under 12: $8.