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Robert Wallace of Houston, relationships can be challenging. I'm sure Nomi Mims, billed as a "dancer and comedian" of adult entertainment destination Treasures, was super-nice to you. I'm also sure it seemed like you two would last forever and why wouldn't it be a good idea to "loan" her money, a laptop, and your Harry Potter DVD set (of course)?

However, taking this disagreement to court THEN agreeing to go on television to discuss your "relationship"? Calling the people who book guests for episodes of Maury would have been a better and slightly more productive route, because at least you'd get a night in a New Jersey hotel room and a flight out of that, although you'd still be out the Harry Potter DVD set, I imagine.

It's sad that things didn't work out between you, average-ish white guy who likes to go to strip clubs, and tall, attractive "dancer and comedian" Nomi Mims, but I thank you both for creating a situation where the following line was uttered on a TV newscast:

“I’ve given him gifts too. You know, how do I get my booty and boobs back?”