Here's your itinerary for today. Do not deviate. If you do, your Saturday will suck.

4:30 p.m. (Park Place)/5:10 p.m. (El Con) Bless Me, Ultima
This movie adaptation of Rudolfo Anaya's controversial novel opens this weekend for a limited time, so you better go today before our state Attorney General Tom Horne bans it. It's about a young boy and the arrival of Ultima, the curandera who moves in with his family at just the right time. She inspires him to question authority and see the world from a new and magical perspective. The movie is showing at Century 20 El Con Mall and Park Place Mall.

Here's the trailer:

7 to 10 p.m., Erotica 5
This annual erotica art show is at the Tucson Sculptural Resource Center, 640 N. Stone Ave. They tell you to leave the kids at home, so yeah, please, listen up. The show is cool, beautiful, interesting, freaky and includes some performances that usually mean naked people doing something interesting. The body is cool and beautiful folks, and the artists involved the past five years in this show understand how to celebrate it.

Here's an image from Erotica 4, so you understand why you may want to get a babysitter for this portion of our evening:

10:30 p.m. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
This is the last night you will be able to see this show (hopefully it returns next year) at the Screening Room, 127 E. Congress Street. You will regret it if you don't go. You will. I don't care if you're not familiar with the music, the show or the movie. I don't care. You'll love it, plus you'll be supporting the kind of theater we need. Thank the theater gawds that Christopher Johnson still lives in Tucson and that he does wonderful work with Dani Dryer. This is Johnson's baby. He plays Hedwig and Dryer plays Yitzhak. I saw the show last night. You'll have a hard time sitting still. You'll be happy when Hedwig invites you to sing along. You'll love the art in the slide show that goes with each scene and performance. You'll wish you made a sizable donation to get your sugar daddy lap dance. You'll leave with the songs running through your head, asking yourself questions about Hedwig and Yitzhak (maybe shed a few tears) and leave happy. Tickets are $15 and can be bought here. Need more encouragement? Here's my mash note to Hedwig. Here's our preview.

Here's a photo from last night's performance of Johnson as Hedwig by Chris Summitt and more of the show on Summitt's blog:

I've given you a great itinerary folks. Make the most of your Saturday. Be kind to others as you go from venue to venue, and support some local businesses along the way for some food and drink.