Arizona edged closer to 15,000 medical marijuana patients in October, when the state Department of Health Services reported that 14,852 patients have been approved for MMJ cards and just seven denied.

Thirty-five souls were in limbo while their applications were "in-review," according to the state report released Oct. 27.

The eastward trend among patients continues in metro Tucson, where 1,508 people had applied for MMJ cards. The two statistical areas stretching from the far East Side to the county line still show the most MMJ applications in the city - a combined 488. The report does not give populations for the Community Health Analysis Areas. The state had received 778 applications from potential caregivers, approving 745 with 30 more awaiting fingerprints. Of the 15,000ish people who asked to smoke pot for relief, about 83 percent - 12,367 - asked to grow.

So, more than 12,000 people in Arizona are presumably knee deep in pot plants and a few thousand more are smoking it up daily for various ailments (86 percent for chronic pain). Has there been an outbreak of freakish crime in your neighborhood perpetrated by crazed pot fiends? Wild-eyed, naked hash-eaters running down the street? Hallucinating child molesters flashing your kids or getting them hooked on dope?

Didn't think so.